


Challenging Fate

by WritingCoffeeAddiction



Series: Drabbles & One-shots [19]
Category: Orange is the New Black
Genre: Angst, Bullying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Inspired by season six trailer, Love, Love Confessions, One Shot Collection, One-Shot, Past Sexual Abuse, Security Blanket
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-06-16 02:11:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 24,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15426756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingCoffeeAddiction/pseuds/WritingCoffeeAddiction
Summary: A collection of Lorna/Nicky One-shots inspired by the season six episodes.I've decided to turn this into a collection of one-shots that I've been inspired to write after watching the entire season. Unfortunately, I was not impressed and feel the need to work my disappointment out through writing.





	1. Challenging Fate

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own the show or characters. All I own is the writing and story.
> 
> Updated Author's Note: After watching the entire new season, and being left somewhat disappointed, I've decided to go forth with turning this into a little collection of one-shots that are inspired by season six...or in better words, I'm writing what I wish would have happened. Why can't the writers see that Lorna and Nicky deserve to be happy together? I'm so frustrated with that, I need to fix it for myself. Obviously, this first one-shot is just a prediction of what I thought (wanted) to happen. The rest will be to make what happened better...in my opinion.
> 
> Author's Note: This little one-shot was, obviously, inspired by the season six trailer. Probably not even close to what will happen in it but I guess what I wish would. Also, as a side note, I wrote the majority of this today with a 100-degree fever so if the writing is shit, that's why. I'll check it over tomorrow and make changes if need be. Anyway, feel free to review. I appreciate those. Thanks.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three days felt like an eternity. Lorna/Nicky. (One-shot inspired by the season six trailer).

_Challenging Fate_

Three days felt like an eternity. Aside from the time she was forced to spend in max, Nicky never went even a day without seeing Lorna. That made the three days that much harder to go through—sure, she had Red and the family, but the lurking thought of Lorna's having no one was what made the time away so painful. She knew, from experience, that Lorna didn't fare well on her own. She couldn't imagine what this must have been doing to the petite brunette that she so desperately loved.

When she first caught glimpse of the Italian beauty—just hours later as she and all the other women from the Litchfield bunker were brought over to the max prison—her heart sank miserably in her chest. Something was not exactly right, she immediately came to realize. Even from afar, Nicky could easily see the healing bruise that sat right above Lorna's nose and the solemn mien walloping in her brown orbs. Her chest tightened; she didn't remember the last time she'd seen the brunette look that disheveled.

A long row of bars, sitting in the middle of the room, separated them. Nicky loathed that. She wanted to reach out and pull Lorna to her—it made her chest ache heavily that she couldn't do much for the woman she longed to spend the rest of her life with. "Hey, Vause," she whispered, tapping on the woman's arm in front of her as they waited in line to be processed into the system.

When blue eyes turn to glance puzzlingly into her own, Nicky moved her hand to gesture towards Lorna—who seemed too oblivious to notice the line of new inmates. "Do ya see the bruise on her face?" Her teeth grit together in a slowly building anger. To think that someone had the nerve to hurt Lorna—oh, did it make her blood bubble beneath her skin.

"Hmm," Alex muttered, squinting her eyes to get a good look at the petite woman on the other side. She searched her face for what Nicky saw and could just barely find a faint bruise. "Right on her nose? It's hard to see from here but yeah, I think you're right. Bet it was one a the guards or something.  _Sick._  What reason would they have to be forceful with Lorna? I can't imagine she'd put up a fight."

Nicky shook her head fiercely and, without realizing, tightened her grasp on the taller woman's shoulder. "They better pray  _that's_   _all they did_  to her—god, if they hurt her—" She covered her mouth to stop herself from blurting out Lorna's pregnancy.

Arching an eyebrow, Alex turned to look at her with intrigued eyes. "Why'd ya stop mid-sentence, Nichols? What were ya gonna say?"

"If I tell you, ya gotta keep this between us…for now," the redhead reluctantly stated, not wanting to lie—something she gave up prior to being locked up—while also not wanting to blab Lorna's private life to anyone without her consent. Seeing Alex slowly nod, Nicky deemed it safe to continue. "I made Lorna surrender because she's pregnant. I didn't believe her and, so, she took a test—a whole drawer full to be exact and there's no lie about it. She's  _really_  pregnant, Vause. So, if those guards fucking hurt her enough to harm her pregnancy…I'll kill them."

"Ya gotta watch what ya say in here, Nicky…don't need to get any more time on your sentence," Alex reminded her, looking around to make sure none of the Cos were in earshot of them. She sighed, though, at the information delivered. Shocked that Lorna could end up pregnant behind bars—and how that must have made Nicky feel, she couldn't even imagine.

"One time with Vinny and she's knocked up?  _Damn_. How do ya feel about her having his baby? Shit, if Piper ever ended up pregnant with Larry's baby—I don't think I could be with her. But I mean, I guess those are two completely different stories. I assume Lorna's over the moon?"

Biting the inside of her mouth out of nervous habit, Nicky shut her eyes in thought. It wasn't the most thrilling thing for her to hear that the woman she loved was carrying a baby inside of her; however, she couldn't disregard how blissful it made Lorna to finally get the family she envisioned for so long. If there was one thing she wouldn't do that would be to sacrifice Lorna's happiness for her own. As detrimental as that might be to her own well-being, Nicky knew the love she had for Lorna was too strong to rationalize with.

"It's not like I blame her, Vause. For fuck's sake, he is her  _husband_ —an asshole husband at that. He better be there to help her or I'll make life hell for him," the redhead vehemently whispered, her teeth gritting together in anger. She inhaled a sharp breath and shook her head. "Yeah, it's not something I'm happy about…but I love Lorna so much and I know having a baby is her dream."

With a light chuckle, Alex gave a friendly pat the shorter inmate's shoulder and looked admirably down into her big orbs. "Lorna's lucky to have a person like you who loves her that much. Hopefully she'll come to her senses one day and admit that she feels the same way about you, Nicky. It's pretty obvious that she does—she musta settled for Vinny outta fear of being alone or somethin'."

* * *

Finally processed into the system, many hours later, Nicky went on a search for her favorite petite Italian. It left a dreary sensation in her mouth to be back in there—in max—after only a few weeks. However, at least the people she cared for were with her this time. The only thing that kept her going. Freedom was not the same here; she saw a guard standing at merely every corner—"monitoring" the behavior. She shook her head. They weren't here to help anyone, she knew, all they wanted was to make everyone suffer more. Something that made her fear heavily for Lorna's safety. She couldn't imagine the small Italian being felt up by a CO—the thought, alone, had a shiver run down her spine.

It was when she walked past the bathroom that a tiny—familiar—whimper alerted Nicky to where she'd find Lorna. Cautiously, she entered inside and followed the heartrending sound of cries to the back of the room where the showers were located. The sight before her instilled her with both a fiery rage and overbearing protectiveness. "Who the fuck are you and  _what the hell_  do ya think you're doing to Lorna?" The questions spat out of her mouth as she hurriedly yanked the unfamiliar blonde woman off of a largely shaken-up Lorna.

"Bitch tried to steal my blanket—I ain't fond of thieves," the blonde woman yelled back, blue eyes glaring menacingly over the two others. She folded her arms irritatingly over her chest, observing closely. "Who are you, huh? I don't think I've seen  _you_  here before. This little red-lipped slut your old-time prison bang buddy, yeah?"

"You better back the fuck outta here, shrimp. And leave Lorna the hell alone, hear me? Insult her again or even try to hurt her, I'll ruin ya for good," Nicky growled, her arms wrapped protectively tight around the brunette's waist while her eyes pierced bitterly towards the inmate across from her.

"Aw, looks like I hit a nerve," the short inmate chuckled, a smirk displayed on her plump face. "Listen here, junkie bitch, no one tells me what to do. If I wanna tease your little girlfriend,  _I will._  You don't like it, too damn bad. I can kick your ass all the way across the planet—I ain't afraid a you."

Nicky held her breath, watching intently to make sure the other was completely out of the room before proceeding to comfort the obviously distressed woman in her arms. She shook her head as a way to help disintegrate some of the anger. To see someone pin Lorna up against the wall so callously, it brought a chill over her. She couldn't contain how infuriated such a sight made her.

"Nicky," the brunette cried out, her arms holding tight around her neck. She lifted her head slightly, almost fearful that this was all just an illusion—that the redhead was only a figment of her imagination. "Are, are ya really here? I-I was so scared that we would never see each other again."

Stroking a soft kiss atop her forehead, Nicky cupped her hands softly around Lorna's tear-brimmed cheeks. The other's words were thoughts that ran through her mind as well after she told the younger woman to surrender herself. If that were the case, she would have never forgiven herself for willingly letting go of her one true love. "I'm really here, baby. And so are you. We're here  _together_ ," she murmured the last sentence warmly against the other's ear.

"I don't like it here."

"I know, baby, it's scarier here. Everyone's meaner and ready to fight over the stupidest shit.  _Like that fuckin' little blonde bimbo bitch._  What did she do to ya, kid? She hurt ya?"

Lorna swallowed thickly as she gave a small nod. The new living quarters weren't nearly the same as in Litchfield—something she feared. If her cell-mate wanted to slowly suffocate her in the middle of the night, no one would even hear. "All I did was take the laundry outta the bag and put her blanket on her bed. I don't know why she thinks I was stealing it…I wouldn't do that, Nicky. And now, she just hates me. I-I don't know what to do—God, it feels like I'm back in high school again," she mumbled, eyes looking blankly ahead at the faded-out walls.

Tilting her head intuitively, Nicky brushed the palm of her hand lightly along the side of her face. She nodded. "I know you wouldn't. You're not a mean person—don't have a mean bone in your body, kid," her lips stroked over the crown of Lorna's head. A small sigh escaped her; she wrapped arms tighter around the brunette, pulling her to rest against her. "You just ignore her, okay? She's obviously jealous of how sweet and cheerful you are. Why else would she try to get a reaction outta ya? I'm here now, Lorna, I'm gonna protect ya from that bitch."

Shaking her head sadly, Lorna felt a lonesome tear slowly creep along her cheek. "Haven't had much reason to be cheerful lately. The only thing that's been getting me through the days is thinking that maybe you'd show up…and I'm so glad ya did, hon. I-I've really missed you," her voice broke, arms clinging desperately to the older woman.

"I kinda noticed ya looked a little down…This morning when we were getting processed, I kinda saw ya through the bars—could easily tell something was bothering you. What's the matter? And the bruise on your nose— _baby_ , who did that to you? Was it that bitch cell-mate a yours or did that happen when ya surrendered yourself?"

The question immediately had Lorna erupt into a fit of uncontrollable sobs. "They pushed me to the ground, Nicky, and I'm pretty sure that made my nose brake…but that— _that's_ not even the worst part."

Nicky held her breath, loathing what Lorna might be about to inform her with. She gently smothered her head in soft kiss to help soothe some of the pain. Her arms enveloped tight around her waist, hoping to provide her with any amount of comfort she could. "What else did they do? It's okay, doll. Don't be afraid to tell me. I'm here to protect you."

"I _-I lost the baby_ , Nicky," Lorna's sobs picked up; she buried her face in the taller woman's chest. The thought of never getting to meet the child she created—her heart felt empty and numb. She couldn't go through that right now.

It tore a hole in her heart to hear how broken and traumatized the brunette was. Something she had always dreamt of—always talked about to her and now, that dream was whisked—so cruelly—from her grasp. Oh, Nicky thought, how she wanted to kill the COs who did this to Lorna. "You had a miscarriage? Oh, Lorna…baby,  _I'm so sorry_. I know how happy you were to be pregnant and I can't, I can't imagine how much grief this has given ya. But I want you to know that you have me. You have me to help ya through this. Whatever you need, angel, you just tell me."

Swallowing uncomfortably, Lorna slightly pulled away and let her brown orbs look sadly up into the other's. She shook her head solemnly. "No, Nicky, I-I don't wanna drag ya into my problems anymore. You-you don't deserve that, hon. I needa figure this out on my own…it's not fair for you to be pulled down with me, ya know? I-I'm so sorry for always managing to do that, Nicky. I love you. That's why I don't wanna—"

"Enough," Nicky firmly interrupted, pressing her lips very delicately over Lorna's to quiet her. She held her hands lovingly around the other's face, gazing lovingly into her eyes. "I love you, Lorna. I wanna be with you and help ya through all of this. You need me to help you. You can't deal with this on your own, baby. Especially on top of having this bully cell-mate—you can't be going through either of those things without someone who loves you—as much as I doo—by yourself."

She gave a small smile down towards the petite Italian, stroking a kiss against the flesh of her cheek. "We'll survive this hellhole of a prison, my baby, together."


	2. Dimming Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One-shot inspired by the events of the final season six episode. Written how I feel it should have happened,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: I've decided to go ahead and turn this into a season six one-shot collection. I, unfortunately, was not impressed with season six and therefore plan to work out my frustration through writing. I just don't understand why the writers can't see that Lorna and Nicky need each other. Why can't these two be happy together already? Jesus. So infuriating. Anyway, sorry for the little outburst. Here's the second one-shot. Inspired by the last episode where they just had to - once again - separate my most favorite couple. And at the worst damn time, of course. So, I had to write something better for my own piece of mind. Feel free to review, I always love those :)

_Dimming Light_

"Hangin' in there, kid?" Nicky inquiries, hovering by the closet door, with worried brown eyes. The hustle and bustle of women running through the hall for the kickball tournament can easily be heard through the slight crack that's held in place by the redhead. She shakes her head; this entire feud between two sisters could get all of them killed, she thinks, and that's not something she can let happen to Lorna—the woman she loves with everything in her. There's no way she can allow Lorna anywhere near that deadly game.

Holding onto her growing baby-bump, Lorna nods her head. For the past several hours, small waves of pain coursed through her abdomen and it only seems to continue now. She deems that the perfect reason to hide-out from the game. Not only does she not want to cause injury to her unborn baby, but she also doesn't want to take the chance that Nicky's suspicion is right—that they all ended in a lethal war over two sister's hatred towards one another.

"Aren't they gonna wonder where we are, Nicky? Is this a good idea?" Lorna throws out her own questions, leaning against the sink and accidently causing one of the mops to fall to the floor—making a noticeable clunk against the hard floor. Immediately, out of fear, she covers her mouth and gives an apologetic glance towards the older woman.

A faint, "who's there?", can be heard from the other side of the door. Nicky tenses, glancing between it and Lorna. She sighs when the person seems to be walking closer to their hide-out spot. "It's better than you going out there and risking yours and the baby's life," her voice shakily whispers as she sticks up one of her fingers and places it over her mouth to keep the other quiet.

"Stay here and keep quiet. I'll go see who's out there. I'll be back," she informs her, nearly opening the closet's door when a shaky hand grabs onto her shoulder.

" _No,_  Nicky, I-I'm not gonna risk losing you again," Lorna cries out, holding tightly onto the taller woman's limb. Tears run heavily down her cheeks as her brown eyes gaze strongly up into Nicky's. "If-if you go, I go. I-I can't risk being without you, hon."

Shaking her head, Nicky pulls her in for a quick hug and presses a tender kiss to her forehead. "No, Lorna, you need to stay here. It's too dangerous—ya got a baby to think about, doll. I'm not letting you or Carmine get hurt. I'm just gonna go see who's out there and I'll be right back. I promise. It's gonna be okay. Please stay here," she whispers, her breath trickling softly over the shorter woman's trembling lips. A sigh escapes her as she wipes at the tears, moving strands of hair away from her eyes. "I'm gonna come back, baby, I promise. I love you—that's why I need you not to come. I can't let you go out there and risk anything."

Before the Italian inmate has the chance to argue, she watches lugubriously as Nicky creaks her way out of the closet and shuts the door behind her. As if on que, the pain in her abdomen intensifies enough to double her over—arms pressed tight against the protruding bump, trying to somehow stop it. "Please," she pants, out of breath and strained from the sobs, "stay inside, kitten,  _it's too early_."

* * *

"What the hell were ya doing in the closet, Nichols? Skimping out on the kickball tournament? I knew you were trying to fuck with Barb's plan," Annalisa furiously comes up to her, rage flashing in her orbs. She corners her against the wall and peers menacingly down at her. Her head shakes with fiery; she knew the redhead couldn't be trusted and loathes that Barb got sucked into her trap.

A nervous chuckle escapes. Nicky tries to subtly move away from the other's fierce hold on her but quickly regrets such decision when a shiv comes in contact with her cheek. She yelps in pain. "The fuck was that about?  _Jesus Christ_ ," she mutters, holding her hand over her now lightly bleeding cheek. "I was just, uh, looking for more weapons—ya know to help us out? Why aren't you on the field already, huh? Maybe you're the one who's skimping out."

The blonde throws the homemade stabbing device into her shirt pocket and folds her arms over her chest. She glares darkly at Nicky, shaking her head in disbelief. "Yeah, I'm sure. You're the one who fucking sabotaged the salon plan—why the hell should I believe you're not going to do some shit to fuck this up too, huh? Barb may be an oblivious idiot but I'm sure as fuck not."

"Look, I'm not planning to do anything but play the damn game. Now, can we just get the fuck out there before it starts?" She watches as Annalisa cautiously follows the crowd of inmates towards the outside doors—hoping to escape back to the closet, but such luck is whisked away when she feels herself being pulled along. A breath of air expels from her lungs as she shuts her eyes. She hopes that this doesn't end badly. She promised Lorna she'd come back and there's no way she wants to break that.

* * *

The pain only continues to worsen. Lorna stumbles to the door, opening it, and walks—bent over—through the hall in search of Nicky. Tears pour down her cheeks heavily, even more so when it seems a large heap of water gushes out from the bottom of her khakis. The sensation causes a piercing cry to escape from her throat. "No, no,  _no_ ," her voice shakes, "No, you-you can't come out yet…please, little baby, it-it's too early.  _Stay inside_." She tries to bargain with her unborn child, holding onto the bump fiercely, until the contractions get so strong that she tumbles to the ground.

"Oh, shit, Lorna," a familiar lightly-accented voice rings through the bustling hallway. It's not Nicky's, the distressed brunette sadly realizes, but—she thinks—at least it's someone she feels safe with. "What happened to ya? You're bleeding—someone try to shank ya or something?"

With the small amount of strength that she has left, Lorna forces herself to look up at who's come to her rescue. A sad sigh escapes her to find that it's only Flaca and Cindy—who, no doubt, are on their way to the field to broadcast the tournament—crouched down beside her. She shakes her head as a loud sob heaves out of her. "My, my water broke. The baby—it's too early, I can't-I can't give birth now," her eyes focus on the inmates running past them—how she longs to run out those doors to Nicky, she sniffles.

"The baby's got shit timing," Cindy mutters, gaining a light slap on the shoulder from Flaca. She sighs and looks down at the clearly-in-pain Italian inmate with empathetic eyes. "We'll get ya to a CO—if your water broke, there's no way to stop the birth. It's too late. I'm sorry."

Shaking her head, the tall Hispanic woman throws her arms up in the air to make a point. "Ain't no guards around—they're all out waiting for the game to start. I think we're gonna have to deliver this baby ourselves, Cindy," she informs, motioning at the nearly empty hallway now. A lump sits in her throat. She swallows uncomfortably and gazes down at Lorna, "How close are the contraction things?"

" _I am not_  giving birth in a fucking prison," the brunette angrily sobs out, holding her stomach protectively. Another sharp pain tears through her, she screams out in agony and slams a fist against the tile floor beneath her. "I-I can't—it's too soon for him. Ya have to stay inside," she cries, looking down at her bump with pleading orbs.

"It's either ya give birth or you bleed to death. That baby is ready to come out—he doesn't know whether he's early or late. We can take you to a closet for privacy but Flaca's right—we're gonna have to deliver that baby here."

"Nicky," Lorna sobs out, pushing herself to stand up. " _I need Nicky. Please._ "

The other two inmates share a look and nod. Cindy, the taller of the two, takes on the task of carefully scooping up Lorna and carrying her to a vacant custodial closet while Flaca hurries out to the field to find Nicky.

* * *

It's proving hard to concentrate on the tournament when all Nicky can think about is how Lorna's faring in the closet. The stares from Annalisa slightly help to keep her focused—the last thing she wants is another cut to her cheek. When their teams are mix-matched with inmates from the other cell-block, she feels a bout of relief wash over. Maybe, she internalizes, there's a glimmer of hope that this won't turn out to be a deadly match of kickball.

After kicking the ball, she runs towards first-base where she's immediately tagged by a member of the other team. Without much care, she walks over to the sideline and watches the next kicker. A few minutes later, however, she's brought out of her daze by a frantic Flaca's running up to her. Eyebrows arched in wonder, Nicky looks up at her. "What's wrong with you?"

"Lorna," the Hispanic girl mutters, breathing heavy from running so fast. She sucks in a large breath to combat the lack of air. "Ya have to come with me; Cindy and I were on our way out when we saw her struggling to stand up—her water broke, Nicky. She's in labor and she wants you to be with her."

Her chest tightens at that. Nicky swallows thickly, looking around the field to find a way to escape without being caught. "She's in labor? Why didn't you fucking get a damn guard? What the hell? How am I gonna get outta here without anyone noticing?"

Flaca gestures to the COs around them and shakes her head. "They're all out here—more interested in this game than the well-being of their inmates, obviously. We can find a way to distract them—maybe, Vause can help us out, ya think?"

Nodding agreeably, Nicky quickly searches the field for the tall black-haired inmate. When she finally catches a glimpse of her guarding second base, she makes a v-line over to her. "Vause," she whispers, tapping her impatiently on the shoulder.

"Huh?" Alex turns, mercilessly bored of the game, and stares at the shorter inmate with intrigued eyes. "Even know who's in the lead in this damn thing?"

"Don't know nor do I give a fuck about the game. I came over because I need you're help."

Quirking an eyebrow, the darker-haired woman folds her arms over her chest. "Yeah? With what?"

Nicky gulps uneasily. She hopes that they'll be able to pull something off. The pure thought of Lorna's enduring a painful birth in a prison closet makes her insides churn distastefully. "Can ya find a way to distract the guards and both teams? I-I need to get inside…apparently Lorna's in labor and she needs me, Vause. I promised her I'd come back and I wanna keep that."

"Shit. Of course, I'll do my best to do what I can to help. Isn't she a little early to be having that baby, though?"

"Seven months. I-I don't know if the baby will make it but I'll be fucking damned if anything happens to Lorna—no way will I let her leave me. I love that woman too much to lose her," she says, a few tears rolling along her cheeks—the saltiness making the cut on her right one hurt worse. A sharp breath she inhales to keep her from falling apart. She forces a grateful smile to her face, "Thanks for helping me out, Alex—means a lot."

Placing a comforting hand to her shoulder, Alex gives a sympathetic smile in return and shrugs her shoulders. "Eh, it's the least I can do after the wedding you and Lorna had for me and Pipes. I hope everything's okay with her—we all know how excited she's been for the baby…can't imagine what it'll do to her if anything goes wrong."

Fortunately there's no time to continue the conversation as Nicky intently watches the black-haired woman run towards the mid-air ball, standing in its path so that her head is the target. A light chuckle comes tumbling from her throat before she makes her escape, running quickly behind Flaca towards the very doors they came out from. She looks back, momentarily, to see everyone crowding around Alex—inmates grunting out in frustration and guards laughing in amusement. She'll have to remember to do something nice for her later on; it's not often a person would willingly get hit in the head just to help her, she knows.

* * *

"Ya know back before I got arrested, I watched my cousin Jamal's girlfriend give birth on the back seat of his car on the way to the hospital," Cindy tries to distract Lorna from the pain with amusing stories of her past life. A slight look of disgust, at the memory, washes over face momentarily as she shakes her head with a faint laugh. That's something she could never rid from her mind with how vivid it was. "She really shouldn'ta ate that last bite of burrito. That was not a pretty mess to clean up."

The door's screeching open immediately gains Lorna's attention. When she sees Nicky walk in behind Flaca, the pain becomes a little more tolerable. Tears come heavily down her face. "Nicky," her voice cracks as she holds out her arms for the redhead.

The sight of Lorna in her current condition shatters Nicky's heart tremendously. It's only a matter of seconds before she's sitting on the floor beside her, pulling her to lay up against her softly beating chest. She rests her chin lovingly atop her head of brown hair. "I'm here, kid. It's all gonna be okay—I've got ya. Shh, shh," her voice soothes while a hand strokes comfortingly against her teary cheek.

"No, Nicky, it's-it's not okay. The baby—he's not ready," Lorna chokes out, gripping her hand tightly over each of the taller woman's wrists—the only thing that seems to help from the immense pain. "Pregnancies are nine months…n-not seven, isn't that right?"

"Yes, baby, that's right. But sometimes, sometimes babies are ready earlier. Obviously, little Carmine in there is tired of floating around all day and wants to meet her mommy. Don't cry, Lorna, everything's okay. I'm here with you. You're gonna be fine."

Lorna shakes her head fiercely and turns slightly to stare piercingly up into Nicky's warm orbs. "I don't care about me, hon—what I want is for my baby to be okay, and  _he's not_. He's not gonna be okay because I'm only seven fucking months. There's blood coming out—a healthy birth wouldn't be bloody like that, would it? I'm not giving birth to-to a healthy baby. Don't sugarcoat things now, Nicky.  _Please._  Be honest like you always are."

Cradling the brunette's face in her hands, a faint sob etches through Nicky's throat. The pain so clearly heard from her voice is enough to ruin the redhead for good. She swallows thickly and inhales a sharp breath. "I don't know, kid. I don't know if the baby's gonna be okay or not. I'm so sorry, baby. I know—I know how much you've wanted to be a mommy and-and now ya might have that ripped away. I hope everything works out but—if you're bleeding…that's not a good sign," she whispers, stroking a kiss against Lorna's damp cheek.

An overpowering contraction interrupts the conversation causing Lorna to nearly convulse from how much pain it leaves her in. She screams out horrifically, wanting nothing more than to go back to the day before when her baby was safe inside her womb.

"I think we're gonna have to deliver this baby like  _now_ ," Flaca intervenes, positioning herself near Lorna's legs and situating them in the birthing pose she remembers seeing from the one time she watched her friend deliver a relative's baby.

Lorna's eyes widen in fear. She shakes her head profusely, grabbing onto Nicky as tight as humanly possible. "I'm not giving birth in a prison closet," she sniffles.

Holding her head snugly against her heart, Nicky smothers soft kisses all over it in the hopes of bringing her some comfort. "Shh, shh. It's okay, I'm here to get ya through this. It's all gonna be okay, doll. You can do this, you're so strong and beautiful," her words murmur lovingly into Lorna's ear. She lifts her head slightly to stare over at Flaca with skeptical eyes. "Are ya sure ya know what the hell you're doing? I doubt you've ever delivered a baby before."

"In fact, I observed a baby delivery very closely. My friend had to help her aunt give birth in the back of her car on our way to the prom back in high school. I know exactly what the hell I'm doing. Don't worry about it—just, uh, keep Lorna calm."

Cindy perks up at that, standing behind her with piqued interest. " _No way_ —I witnessed a backseat car delivery too, bitch. Small world, ain't it? Don't worry, Morello, you're in good hands…we both know how to get a baby outta your vajayjay, no worries."

Nicky rolls her eyes, keeping her loving hold on Lorna's head and stares at the other women with quirked eyebrows. "The hell kinda friends did ya two have out there? Nah, I don't wanna know. Just be gentle with my Lorna. Poor thing's in enough pain as it is," she mutters, a stray tear leaking down her face at the pure discomfort the woman she loves is experiencing. Her arms do their best to shield her from the harsh reality of the real world. "Close your eyes and just breathe. It'll be over soon, doll. You'll be a mom in less than ten minutes, just think of that."

"Oh, Jesus," Flaca yells out when she realizes the baby's head popping out. She holds a hand over her mouth to keep it together. "Ya gotta give a real good push—I see the head, Lorna. Push as hard as ya can!"

Squeezing her eyes tightly shut, Lorna grunts out painfully as she does her best to push her body. "Ahhh—make the hell stop," she screams, pushing harder and harder until she feels the release of all pressure and pain. More tears fall from her eyes, she doesn't open them. The fading pain is a strong relief but the absent sound of a baby's cry alarms her immensely.

Nicky looks over at the others with a worried expression etched on her face. The fallen miens confirms her worst suspicion. She swallows hard, motioning for them to bring her the baby. When the lifeless bundle is placed in her arms, she shakes her head sadly and presses a delicate kiss over Lorna's forehead.

"Can ya give Lorna and I some privacy, please?" She watches solemnly as they oblige and walk quickly out of the closet. A small sigh escapes her as she waits for Lorna to open her eyes. When she doesn't, Nicky places the permanently sleeping newborn into her arms and wraps both of hers tight around the petite brunette.

"Open your eyes, my doll, please. Look at your daughter. Yes, it's a girl. She looks just like you, pretty girl."

Lorna's heart aches in her chest. She slowly opens her eyes to stare down at the baby in her arms. The sight of her immediately causes a painful wrack of sobs to shake through her body. "She's sleeping—Nicky, look, she's just— _she's just sleeping_. That's why she didn't cry, she's too tired. Pretty little Carmine," she smiles brokenly, hugging the lifeless baby tight against her chest.

Combing a hand through her hair, the innocence that comes from Lorna's small voice easily causes a fountain of tears to pour from her own eyes. Nicky shakes her head sadly, kissing her head continuously. "Yeah, baby, she's sleeping… _forever_ ," her voice cracks; it's proving to be quite the chore to keep herself together—how can she with how disoriented the birth and pain has caused Lorna. She lets out another sharp breath. "Lorna, my sweet love, Carmine's not gonna wake up. She's, she's dead, kid. You, you were right that-that something was wrong and I-I'm so sorry."

"No, no.  _I was wrong_. She's perfectly fine, Nicky.  _Look at her._  She's healthy and sleeping and so beautiful. She's gonna be okay and so am I. We're both okay," Lorna states, rocking the baby softly against her. She bites her lip, trying to stay positive. Her baby isn't dead. She didn't give birth to a dead baby, she tells herself. But when she stares down at the newborn, she can easily tell that the baby she's holding isn't just asleep. And such realization only rips a large hole in her heart.

Sobs heave through her. Everything in her slowly turns to Jell-O, causing her to collapse against the cold floor.

Instantly, Nicky takes the broken woman into her strong arms and lays her back up on her chest. She nuzzles her chin lovingly over top of her head, sniffles lightly coming out of her own throat at this point. Lorna's pain is her pain. "Shh, shh. I'm right here. I got ya, sweetie, I got ya. You're not alone, okay? You got me to help ya through this. I know it hurts—it hurts like hell, I know, my love. But you'll get through this, I promise. You're with me and I'm gonna do whatever I can for you. Whatever you need, you just tell me. It's gonna be okay," she soothes softly into the other's ear, rocking her softly in her arms. Kisses are pressed lovingly against her head.

"I-I'm not gonna be okay, hon. I-I lost my child. My heart is empty and-and so numb. I don't—I don't think I'll ever get past this."

"Oh,  _Lorna…baby_ , I know it feels that way now, but that's not gonna be forever. Please, doll, you're gonna get past this—I'm gonna be right by your side through all of this, I promise. I love you so much, kid, and all I want is to make you feel better," Nicky assures, tightening her hold on the trembling brunette.

The sobs that are felt only strengthens the ache in her own heart. It's the worst thing in the world to see the woman her heart beats for in this much pain. How she longs to make this better—to bring Lorna's baby back for her. She sighs, shaking her head and focuses her energy on bringing her any comfort she can. "It's gonna be a hard few months—maybe longer—but I promise you that you'll get through this pain. I'll make sure of that. I will never leave you. I'll be right here to comfort you in any way you want me to. I'll hold ya all day every day if that's what makes you feel even halfway better. I don't care. Whatever makes you feel better, I'll do. Please, my baby, please don't be afraid to ask me for comfort, yeah? I love you so damn much; I wanna get through this with you. You won't be the same person you were before, that's true, but you'll come out stronger for enduring this painful tragedy. I know you will."

Letting out another sigh, Nicky leans up against the wall and maneuvers Lorna into a more comfortable position against her body. She takes off her jacket and wraps it around the two of them to keep them as close as their bodies can be to one another. A loving kiss is dropped to the top of the smaller woman's head. "It's all gonna be okay. You just wait and see, baby."


	3. Splintering Adoration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based off the episode where Nicky's injured in the library; except for the purpose of this one-shot, she's not hurt as bad. Lorna finds her and comforts her. Comfort gradually turns into a confession of love.

_Splintering Adoration_

Lorna finishes her morning's task of sweeping through the disheveled floors of C-Block when she comes across the startling sound of arguing seeming to lead to the library that's adjoining to the two cell-blocks. Immediately, she rolls the cleaning cart closer and parks it on the side of the entrance. She cautiously peaks in before entering—not wanting to barge in without knowing the extent of the problem—and feels her chest tighten at what she sees.

Without even a smidge of hesitation, the short-statured brunette walks through the door and frisks her way to Nicky's side. A rush of tears come streaming down her cheeks as she takes the redhead's scratched up face into her hands. Her brown eyes—that are usually soft and full of optimism—stare coldly up towards the group of C-Block inmates hovering around the fallen bookshelves.

"What did you do to Nicky?  _Why?_ " Her accent cracks with underlying emotion. She sits herself next to a clearly hurting Nicky, brushing a hand lovingly through her ragged hair.

"Maybe next time your little girlfriend should keep away from our crew. She's choosing the wrong block to fuck with," one of the blue-khaki inmates shouts back in response before following the three others out of there.

Alone, now, with only Nicky, Lorna lets out a sad sigh. Seeing her in such a rugged condition tears at her heart. She cradles her hands softly around her freshly-bruising face, staring into her eyes with an overpowering concern. "What happened, hon? Why did they hurt you? What'd ya get yourself into?" Her fingers stroke delicately around her flesh.

"For once, I was just tryna help someone out. To make new life and those fucking bitches come stomping in here like we're planning to go in cahoots over this stupid bullshit feud. Jesus Christ. This is outta hand."

Tilting her head slightly—intrigued by her statement—Lorna gives an inquisitive glance. "Make new life? Hon, you do know that is kinda impossible seeing as everyone in here is…well, a  _woman_?"

Even with the strong pain that she's in, Nicky manages out a chuckle. She nods and reaches a hand over to place lightly against Lorna's soft cheek. No matter how much heartache the very woman gives her, she knows she can never stop loving her. No matter how bad it hurts. "It wasn't technically a life I created—I was helping Blanca out. She and her boyfriend—or fiancé, I don't remember—wanna start a family. I figured inseminating her with his sperm would give me some sorta purpose. Ya know, so, I have something to brag about when I'm outta this shithole. But those C-block bitches found us and got mad to see us working on a prison miracle. So, chances are she's not gonna have that baby.  _Fuck_ , there goes my brink of good in the world."

It doesn't take much for Lorna to notice the fatigue in Nicky's voice. Something she knows has a lot to do with all the things she's put her through. And, for that, she hates herself. Hates what she's done to the woman who has only ever shown her what it's like to be unconditionally loved by someone. She can't keep doing this to her, she internalizes. She can't keep adding onto the hurt.

"You've done more good in the world than anyone. This isn't the end, hon. Really,  _it isn't_!" Lorna softly assures her, massaging her fingers along the redhead's injured face. It makes her wince to see her in so much pain. She strokes a kiss over her forehead. "God, do ya need to go to medical or anything? Ya look like you're in a lotta pain, honey. I can't believe they would hurt ya over trying to impregnate someone.  _How stupid_."

Another chuckle tumbles through her larynx. "Okay, I never thought I'd hear that sentence come outta your mouth, kid."

Swallowing thickly, Lorna feels her eyes glaze over. She holds her hands firmly around Nicky's face, not entirely sure what to make of her comment. What she's referencing. If it's what she fears, her heart already feels heavy thinking it. "What do you mean?"

Shaking her head, Nicky slightly pulls away from the touch. The gentle touch that always makes her feel warm. Makes her crave more. She refuses to fall back into that habit—the habit of dreaming a life with Lorna. Something, no matter how bad she yearns after, she knows is nothing more than a dream. Lorna's married and pregnant. It's over. She'll never win her undivided affection. And that hurts worse than anything…worse than the pain her face is stricken with.

"What good have I ever done? Look around us, kid—is this where a person who does good things ends up?  _No._  This is fucking  _prison_. I have nothing to show for. Woulda been able to say I helped create something good in here but those C-blockers ruined that. Now, I'm back to being just another prison junkie."

Lorna shuts her eyes momentarily. Hearing the very words come out of her mouth is nearly unbearable to comprehend. Nicky's always been the strong one—the tough girl who hates letting anyone see her break down. To see her this broken, this vulnerable, is a foreign concept. On one hand, it's the most painful thing to observe. Yet, on the other, it's a blessing. Nicky trusts her enough to let her walls finally shatter. That's something she won't take lightly.

" _You're more_  than a damn junkie, Nicky," the Italian woman quickly starts off, pulling her face back into her petite hands. She peers deeply—sternly—into big brown eyes. "You're the kindest person I've ever met in here—the most sincere and honest woman any person could hope to be. You love with your whole heart, hon, and that's something rare. Anyone would be lucky just to know ya."

Seeing a tear run down along Nicky's cheek, Lorna quickly wipes it away with her thumb and wraps her fully in her arms. She tenderly rests her forehead over the other's, looking softly into her orbs. "I know I'm real lucky to know ya. You've done so much for me, Nicky, so much good. I can never thank ya enough for that…never appreciate it enough."

" _Stop_ ," Nicky's voice merely cracks. She wants to pull away so badly but doesn't have the energy. Doesn't have the strength to move away from the smaller woman's gentle touch. Her head shakes sadly; she looks directly into Lorna's eyes, her own filled with a deep agony.

Touching her forehead delicately, Lorna tilts her head in puzzlement. "Stop what? What's bothering ya, honey?" She cradles the palm of her hand around the other's bruised cheek.

" _This_. Pretending like ya actually wanna help me," the older woman exasperates, throwing her arms out. It hurts even worse pushing away from Lorna—pushing away from the comfort she wants, longs for. But, deep down, she knows her heart can't take it anymore. She can't keep doing this – keep pretending that she'll ever have a chance with her favorite Italian beauty. Not with Vinny and the baby in the picture. There's no chance.

" _Pretending?_ " Lorna feels her heart shatter even further inside her chest. It rips her up to hear that Nicky would ever even think something like that—to think that she doesn't want to be there for her. She shakes her head. That couldn't be further from the truth if it tried. Nicky's the only woman she could care for in such a way – such a way that she knows is toxic to both of them. But, now, she ponders on the thought of whether the real toxic thing is loving Nicky or forcing herself to live a "pure" life just for the sake of her family's religious background.

"I do wanna help ya. I wanna comfort you, Nicky…just like all the times you've done for me. I don't like seeing you in pain, it hurts. Seeing you this way—oh, hon, it's like a stab in the heart. I'm not gonna just leave ya here. Please let me hold you, would ya?"

As much as Nicky wants to believe her every word—yearns for the offered comfort—she knows it's too good to be true. It's always too good to be true. "Ya wanna know what hurts worse than any a this, kid? What makes waking up in the morning such a dreaded occurrence—is knowing that the woman I love… _the woman I would give my life for_ …is fucking pregnant with her  _husband's baby_. That's what hurts so bad. What makes living almost unbearable half the fucking time. And I can't—I'm not sure if I can live like that anymore, doll. I'll always love you but it hurts too damn bad."

A lump forms in her throat. Lorna shakes her head fiercely and pulls Nicky into her arms, keeping her grip snug. "I'm so sorry, Nicky—I'm so sorry for being the cause of your pain," she whispers, resting her forehead over the other's. Every bit of pain etched on her face tears heavily at her chest. She tenderly brushes a thumb over the many tears that stream along it. "I know I can't change the pregnancy… _but what I can do_  is divorce Vinny so I can be with you. I don't want you to hurt anymore, honey. You don't deserve to. You're too beautiful of a human being to hurt like this."

"No, baby, you're not fucking divorcing your husband outta pity for your ex-prison lover. I can't let you do that. I love ya too much to see you do something that would only worsen the situation—"

Soft lips press slowly over Nicky's. Lorna smiles, tears in her eyes at this point, and pulls away to cup her distressed friend's lovingly in her hands. "It's not outta pity—it's out of the love I have for you, sweetie. I love you so much and it's time I accept that. I've caused you enough pain—I need to make up for that. I need to give up Vinny and the "dream" life I thought I wanted…because that's not what I really want. What— _no who_ —I want is  _you_ , my beautiful Nicky.  _You're_  who I want to marry someday, who I want to raise my baby with. If ya want to, of course. I know that's a lot to ask of you. I love you, Nicky. Not Vinny and I'm so, so sorry it's taken me so fucking long to come to that realization. Better late than never, right?"

Everything inside of her freezes. Nicky has to pinch herself several times to make sure this isn't just some cruel dream. A yelp from the pain informs that this is—indeed—real. Several sniffles shake their way out of her throat. "Are ya being real right now? You-you really love me back?"

"Yes, hon, I really love you. I mean it. I never stopped. I just—I thought I needed to fill the hole seeing you carted off here left me with. But that was the worst decision I ever made. Was choosing Vinny over you. I hate myself for that. I hurt you for no reason and there's not enough apologies I can tell you to make up for it. What I can do is move on with you now—I'll file a divorce first thing tomorrow, Nicky. I just—I wanna be with you and make you happy again. I wanna see ya smile, sweetie. I don't like what I've done to you. Let me make up for all the hurt."

Wrapping her own hands around Lorna's cheeks, Nicky happily smashes their lips together in a fiery kiss. She smiles through her tears and nods ecstatically. "This is the best thing I've heard in a long time—I'll sure as hell will be with you forever, baby. You have no, no, fucking clue how happy I am right now. I love you so fucking much, my Lorna baby. Thank you for finally waking the hell up and realizing that."

Lorna smiles, letting her lips brush once more over the other's—softer and slower. She gently lays herself on the floor beside the mess of bookshelves before softly pulling Nicky down on top of her. "You should probably try to rest, my sweetie. That bruise must be really killing ya," her voice warm against the redhead's lips; she kisses them one last time and then tenderly lays Nicky's head onto her chest. She nuzzles her chin overtop of thick red curls, holding her tight against herself. "I love you more than anything in the world; I'll never hurt ya again, honey. I promise."


	4. The Blanket of Security

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one-shot is inspired by both the episode where Lorna and Nicky reunite (of course written how I would have liked it) and by Nicky's confession of her Uncle's sexual abuse towards her.

_The Blanket of Security_

Following solemnly behind the guard, Nicky closes her eyes in defeat.  _How did this happen?_  How did she—her entire prison family—end up in this place,  _this situation_? She grumbles out a sigh at the distasteful thought. Sickness sits in the pit of her stomach as she walks through the entrance of D-block—the very same cell-block she was in the last time. Unbelievable. Three days ruined a lot of lives. Three days left her back in the pitfall of hell that she just barely climbed out of.

"Nicky— _Nicky_?"

That accent Nicky can recognize anywhere. She opens her eyes to see that familiar Italian beauty standing a mere inches away from her. Her breath catches in her throat. It's almost a sight too comforting to ring true. "Lorna," she murmurs so softly she's not sure if she even spoke at all. It's not until she feels those soft—delicate—arms wrap around her body that she realizes this is reality.  _Lorna is really there_.

Arms wrapped deathly-tight around the taller woman's waist, Lorna instinctively leans her head against her shoulder—shutting her eyes in content. A smile takes form on her face. The nagging fear of never seeing the rambunctious redhead finally vanishes. "Oh, God, Nicky…I missed you so much—had no idea if I'd ever see ya again," she whispers, nuzzling her head against the side of Nicky's face.

"No touching. Both of you get to work,  _now_ ," coarsely yells one of the COs. She pushes a mop and broom into Nicky's arms and watches closely for the two to separate. After a minute of making sure the two really are doing their tasks, she quietly leaves to find a more interesting pair of inmates to oversee.

Watching Lorna take her time dipping the mop into the bucket full of soapy water, Nicky can't help but feel the tension slowly begin to simmer down. An effect the brunette always seems to have on her. The calm in the storm. A comfort she never knew she needed—or wanted. "Ya look good, kid," she gives a crooked smirk while following suit in mopping the tile-floor behind her.

"You look… _beat down_ ," Lorna points out after observing her face for an intent few moments. "What happened—after ya left, Nicky?  _Where did you go?_ "

Nicky sighs, biting the inside of her mouth. Dwelling on it isn't going to change things, she knows. It's not going to make the situation any better—make things the way they were just days earlier. But that look on Lorna's face—the one that always presses on her heart—forces the information out of her with ease. "Some real bad shit went down, kid. A reason I'm glad ya surrendered yourself. God—I fucked up majorly."

Soft eyes gazing up at her, the petite Italian reflexively reaches a hand across to place gently on Nicky's face. She caresses the palm of her hand lightly along it. "Tell me what happened, hon. It's okay," her voice hums out warmly.

"How about later? I don't wanna get us in trouble. Let's just get this shit done before the guards come back, yeah?"

* * *

That evening, after supper is finished, Lorna retreats to her cell with ease. She places a hand over her growing bump and lets out a groan. "You're a lotta work, ya know that kitten?" Shaking her head, she gives a gentle pat to it before climbing onto her bunk. It's not until she turns on her side that she notices Nicky's presence right beside her. Eyes widen in shock. "What the—Nicky, are you my new cell-mate?"

"Sure am, kid," the redhead chuckles, snaking her arms strongly around her petite waist. "Lucked out, didn't we? Now, I can hold my baby whenever I want… _and not_  get a shot for it."

A fuzzy sensation courses through her body at that. Lorna immediately pops her eyes open to stare intently into the other's tender ones. " _Your baby_?" She arches an inquisitive eyebrow at her—intrigued by such a comment, a comment that makes her heart flip.

Stroking her lips hotly over blushing cheeks, Nicky tugs her closer and smirks. " _Aren't you_  my baby, Lorna?"

"I-I—why do ya say that, Nicky?"

Lips rest directly over Lorna's flesh while big brown eyes gaze longingly down at her. The best thing that could ever happen in prison, she thinks, has happened to her. Even the sensation of being back in max—feeling trapped with no knowledge of when she'll get out—is not enough to dampen the mood now that she has her Lorna. Or, at least, is locked in a cell with her for eight hours each night. Multiply that by a year or two and that should give her just enough time to persuade the Italian beauty why she's the right person to spend the rest of her life with.

"Say what? That you're my baby? Hmm—maybe because you're cute and naïve just like an innocent baby. And holding you is the most peaceful thing in the world…ya know kinda like holding a sleeping baby? I mean not that I have experience with that but I'm sure you do, kid."

The tender words fill a void in Lorna's heart that she didn't even realize was there. A small smile spreads across her cheeks as she drapes her arms soothingly around Nicky's abdomen, resting her head in the crook of her neck. "Well, you better get some practice in if ya wanna hold my little kitten. Lucky, we got another five months until he comes," she whispers, breath softly trickling on the other's flesh.

"Interesting name for a baby, doll. Please tell me you're not seriously going to call the child kitten?" A playful chuckle escapes Nicky. She pulls the brunette closer, brushing a soft kiss atop her head of medium-length wavy hair.

"Just until he's outta the womb. It's just a nickname, hon. I don't have any real names picked out yet."

Nicky arches an eyebrow, " _He?_  How are ya so sure the baby's a boy?"

Closing her eyes, relishing in the security of Nicky's strong arms, Lorna shrugs. A mother's intuition she claims—she just knows there's a little boy inside of her. A beautiful son who's already wrapped his away around her dainty finger. "The morning sickness and constant hunger tells me this has to be a boy. Franny has two sons of her own and ate like every hour. So, it's just gotta be a boy."

Patting her gently on the head, Nicky nods and smiles. "Sure thing, kid," she murmurs out before exhaling out a yawn. Her arms tighten around the younger woman's waist—the weight of her body against her own is a comfort to her; a fond reminder of the blanket she used to carry around as a preschooler. But much better than that blanket.

"Hmm," Lorna tiredly mumbles, nestling further into the warmth radiating from her friend's body. "This is nice. It's been so long since we've been this close, hon," she points out, her voice slowly trailing off with each word. It's not long before a much-awaited slumber falls over her.

The soft sound of Lorna's breathing—alerting her that she's asleep—washes Nicky with a tranquil sensation. She pulls the blanket up to cover around the two of them and strokes her lips lovingly against the shorter inmate's head. "Night, doll," she whispers while letting her eyes droop shut. Not before long is their cell filled with two peacefully sleeping women.

* * *

Darkness surrounds Lorna the minute her eyes pop open. But that's not what captures her attention.  _No_ , what startles her is the sound of soft whimpers from the sleeping form underneath her. Immediately, she turns herself so that she's looking down at Nicky—she takes in the sight of her and feels an ache lurking inside of her chest. The tears running down her cheeks, she brushes them away with her thumbs.

"Nicky, wake up," she murmurs softly, framing her hands delicately around her face. This is something she never witnessed before. Something foreign and heartbreaking. The whimpers gradually grow louder, pulling heavily on Lorna's heart to hear such. She brushes her lips soothingly against the flesh of Nicky's forehead, trailing feather fingers along in a circle. "Come on, sweetie, open your eyes. It's okay. I'm here, Nicky."

Eyes slowly peak out of their lids. A bout of relief pours through her to see that it's only Lorna beside her. She takes in a deep breath and feels the cries start to fade away. "Sorry for waking you, kid," she mutters, her voice drained of emotion. The last several days have done nothing but ware her down. Brought back memories she thought she'd never have to relive.

"No, don't be. I don't want you to cry alone, hon," the brunette tenderly assures, switching positions so that she's the one holding Nicky. She tangles a hand tenderly through her thick curls, twisting it softly around her finger. "What's the matter? Is this about what's happened? Please talk to me, Nicky. I wanna take care of ya."

A half chuckle squeaks its way from Nicky's windpipe. She easily moves herself closer to the other, lavishing in the comfort her arms bring her. "That's my job, baby…to take care of you."

"So, what? Sometimes even tough girls need a mother's hug. Ya don't gotta be the strong one all the damn time, Nicky. It's impossible," she soothes, her lips warm above Nicky's ear.

"A mother's hug? Hmm, I guess I won't be getting that any time soon…Red's in C-block. And who the fuck knows if she even cares about me anymore? I fucked up so badly, Lorna. I'm—"

Lorna shushes her with a soft kiss. She leans her forehead delicately against hers, holding a hand on each of her cheeks and caressing the palms of them against it. "Shh," she murmurs, looking adoringly into her deeply-pained irises. To see her this broken is the hardest thing. She never imagined such a scenario. For Nicky to finally have a breakdown in front of her. "I'm here, honey,  _let me_  hold you. I can take care of you just like you've always done for me. Let me help. What happened? How come you're so upset?"

"This whole fucking thing. I never—god, fuck, I never thought anything would trigger those memories. I never thought I'd have to relive that horrific night, kid. But," Nicky's voice slowly begins to crack, the pain building in her chest at the thought. She swallows a thick breath of air. Tears pour along her cheeks like waterfalls. "The riot…Ma and Blanca—they fucking lured Piscatella inside the prison and he kidnapped us. It was mortifying to say the least. I thought he was gonna kill ma. And…I don't know."

"That's not the worst part, is it sweetie? Something happened to ya when you were younger? And this-this brought it back to your mind?" Lorna softly questions, tugging Nicky closer to her. Wanting nothing more than to rock away all of her terror. She rubs a hand gently up and down her back, waiting patiently for an answer.

Nicky shakes her head, a sob tumbling up from her abdomen. "No, no it's not." She throws her arms tightly around Lorna's neck, burying her face in the crook of it and letting her tears form a pool around them. "My uncle—he  _touched_  me, Lorna, when I was in fucking middle school. He touched me and my fucking mother didn't do anything to help me. I thought I was over it until all this shit went down. Now, it feels like it's never gonna go away."

"Oh, Nicky…baby, I'm so sorry," Lorna murmurs, pressing a tender kiss to the side of her face. She tightens her hold on the quivering redhead and feels a heavy pang sit in the pit of her stomach. "I'm here, hon, if ya wanna talk about it. Whatever ya need…or want…I'm here. It'll be okay, sweetie. You don't have to keep that burden to yourself anymore. You're not alone," she assures, laying her head softly over top of Nicky's and tracing her fingers delicately around her teary cheeks.

"It hurts, kid, it hurts  _really fucking bad._ "

The sobs and sniffles that continue to plague her best friend—the woman she longs to be near forever—are almost unbearable for Lorna to listen to. It brings a bubbling rage to think that someone—the woman's own relative for God sake—had the nerve to violate Nicky in such a cruel and sick way. She shakes her head sadly and softly begins to rock the distressed woman in her arms. "I know, honey, I know it hurts. Just cry it out; you're safe now. I'm not gonna leave you, Nicky. I'll be right here, holding ya all night. Everything's gonna be okay now, baby; I've got you."

She continues to softly rock back and forth with a broken Nicky in her arms, brushing soft lips over and over against her head. "I love you," the words tumble out of her with ease. And she means them. Lorna vows to make things right between them. She can't let Nicky suffer without her anymore. Nicky needs her more than anyone and she makes a promise to never leave her again. "I love you, honey. We'll get through this.  _Together_ —I'll never leave you again, Nicky."


	5. Desolation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one-shot isn't based off any of the episodes, honestly. Just something I thought would have been interesting to see happen.

_Desolation_

Her head resting miserably against the hard medal table, a deep airy breath huffed its way from Lorna's lungs. Maximum security prison, the though alone tore her up inside. How did she end up in that place? A question that ran through her mind almost daily since being thrown in there. This was a thousand times worse than Litchfield. The guards had no care for any of their well-beings—no regard for their safety. It was a dreary place to be. A place she longed to get out of. There was no hope there. No light at the end of the tunnel.

Drained and exhausted from being pregnant and locked up, the Italian inmate didn't notice the group of D-Block women making their way towards the table she claimed. Didn't notice anything until she found herself being forced out of her seat. A lump began to form in her throat. Brown eyes gazed up to find the culprit, growing terrified; she held onto the rim of the table to help herself into a standing position.

"This is  _our_ table," a middle-aged woman spoke out, her tone icy as she peered intensely at the small brunette. "Only we sit here, little girl. Is that clear?"

Lorna nodded rapidly, swallowing thickly, and turned to find another vacant table. Yet, before she could even move an inch, a blonde inmate grabbed her roughly by the shirt. The sensation immediately instilled her with a fear. She silently prayed she didn't just cost herself her life by sitting at "their" table. Oh, God, did she hope this wasn't the end.

"We know all about you, little Morello. Better watch your back in here. Barb's not afraid to have ya killed," rang the blonde's voice darkly through Lorna's ear. Her hands finally released, sending her flying back towards the ground.

The words sent a shiver down her spine. It hadn't even been a week that she was brought down here—how could this random group of inmates possibly know anything about her? The inquiry pondered ravenously through her mind. An uncomfortable lump slowly formed in her throat at what could possibly come of her in there. And the baby that resided within her womb. She needed to survive this for both she and her child.

* * *

It was a sound of familiarity. A sound that always tore at Nicky's heart to listen to. As she walked past a particular cell, it immediately grew louder and stopped her in her tracks. She cautiously peaked in; her eyes meticulously searching the room until they landed on Lorna. A heavily distressed Lorna, she noted. Something that always shattered her to see.

With tender eyes, Nicky quietly made her way through the open door way and over to the bottom bunk where her best friend resided. A pang built in her chest to hear the distraught sobs that shook through her petite frame. "Hey, kid, what's the matter? Why ya cryin'?" She warmly questioned, situating herself on the bed beside the other's head.

"Nicky…. _oh, Nicky_ ," her voice cracked through the several sniffles that plagued her body. She turned on her side to face the only woman who's ever given a damn about her and forced a smile to her face. A smile that didn't make it to her eyes. "I love you. I  _really, really_  love you." The words tumbled out of her mouth before she had the chance to even process them.

"Is that what has ya cryin' like this? Are ya scared that I'd not believe you? Baby tell me what's going on."

Lorna effortlessly collapsed, whimpering and heaving, into the other's lap. She shook her head and snaked her arms desperately tight around Nicky's neck, hiding her face in the crook of it. "No, no—I just…Nicky, this-this place is horrible. I can't, I can't breathe in here. I feel so trapped—so claustrophobic. How- _how_ did ya survive in here before?"

The brokenness she witnessed—oh, how much it hurt her to see the woman she loved in this way. To see her break apart like that. Nicky couldn't bear it. She cradled her arms protectively around her distraught friend, smothered her head in soft kisses. "It's not easy. But I'm here with you. I'll be right here to take care of ya. Just calm down. You're safe, baby; I'm right here. Shh," her voice soothed lovingly into her ear, fingers stroking its pink flesh.

"No. No, I-I don't think I am safe. I think I'm in a big pile of shit, hon."

"Is someone threatening you? Who the fuck is it? I'll kill em'. Tell me right now, kid."

Shaking her head profusely, Lorna swallowed hard and tried to push past the fear. The last thing she wanted was to pull Nicky into it. No way she'd let anything happen to her—she wouldn't be able to live with herself for that. "Don't worry about it—it's nothin. I just—it doesn't feel safe in this place is what I meant. But-but I feel better knowing I have you. You're all I need," she tried to sound convincing, planted a small kiss to the other's cheek to persuade her belief.

"Ya better not be lyin'. I swear to God—if you end up in a dangerous situation without my knowledge, things are gonna get real ugly, baby. I don't want anything to happen to you," Nicky murmured, a sternness highly evident in her tone; she laid back against the mattress and pulled Lorna down on top of her. Her hand brushed delicately through her hair until the both of them fell into a light slumber.

* * *

It was late in the night when Lorna felt her body being forcefully lifted from her bunk and dragged gruffly out through the door towards the shower room. The person pulled her along to a stall, throwing her against the unkempt floor, and towered over her small body. Terror immediately began to take over. She forced herself to stare up at who her abductor was and felt a tightness rise in her chest.

"Who, who are you? Why-why did ya bring me here?" The questions choked out of her windpipe, tears already at the point of falling. She felt her legs tremble against the floor; it felt like some sort of horror movie she was part of. Except this happened to be real.

"Doesn't really matter who I am. All that matters is that you know not to associate yourself with anyone in here. Especially not that Nicky girl. I remember her from a few weeks ago, and if my memory serves me right, she was busy hookin' up with that—oh, damn, what the fuck's her name?—oh, I believe it was Stella. Who happens to be one of my girls. So, if ya make contact with Nicky, I'll have to silence you for good. Make myself clear?"

Everything in Lorna froze at the—what seemed to be—middle-aged woman's words. No way. There was no way any of that could be true. And even if it was, she didn't care. Nicky was her soul-mate; she would love her forever. And never stop making contact with her. She couldn't, not when she had no one else in this hole of darkness. And, this— _this_  made that clear. No one cared for her except the rambunctious redhead.

"Nicky's my friend. I won't stop talking to her. We, we love each other and I'm not letting anyone take her away from me again," the words spilled out of her mouth through wracks of heartrending sobs. It broke her to even ponder the idea of cutting ties with Nicky. Especially now, after finally being reunited for the second time in one year. She'd die fighting. All that mattered was being with Nicky…even if it was in a dark, terrifying, hell.

The words instantly become a regret as the older inmate grabbed her by the throat, squeezing it for several long seconds until the room boomed with her harsh sputtering. "You will stay to yourself or I'll have my girls ruin you for good, Morello. Don't fuck with Barb's demands," she roared, slamming her over and over into the wall. It brought her a faint pleasure to see Lorna squeal in unforsaken pain. She finally stopped, throwing her down against the floor and turning to leave, "Night-night, little girl. It's best if you take my advice. Or you could end up in worse shape than this."

* * *

Not too much past six that very next morning, Nicky forced herself to get up out of bed. She wasn't the biggest fan of early rising but she'd make the sacrifice to ensure herself a hot shower. The only thing in this place that could bring her some peace. Tranquility. Hot showers were one of the rare amenities she came by all her years in prison. She wasn't about to lose that.

The walk down to the shower area was a surprisingly pleasant one. Only two guards were seen throughout the hall—something rare, she knew but she wasn't about to pester over it. However, once she entered the room and walked to find an empty stall, she caught glimpse of a familiar leg sticking out of the very farthest one. Her pace fastened quite a bit. A sight she didn't expect to see so early in the morning.

Pulling back the curtain, when she finally stood in front of it, her eyes quickly formed tears. "Lorna,  _Lorna…baby_ , who did this to you? Who hurt you, baby?" Nicky inquired, voice filled with pain as she looked down at the clearly beat-up brunette. She felt herself nearly tremble to reach down to touch her friend—the woman her heart beat for. The Lorna who always made her smile and want to roll her eyes all at the same time. The Lorna who—now—was lying as broken as ever against the filthy shower floor.

"I-I don't know; I…didn't see." It was a lie. A lie that Lorna desperately needed to be bought. She didn't want to risk Nicky's life at any chance. Nicky was everything to her and she knew she wouldn't survive without her. But she also couldn't do what that Barb—or whoever it was—inmate requested. She didn't have it in her to push Nicky away—to do what she always did. Not this time. If it ended with her dead, then so be it. She'd rather be dead, anyway, then to go through life without seeing her beloved redhead.

"Baby, please tell me the truth. I need to know who the fuck had the nerve to beat you like this. I can't protect you fully without knowing who to watch out for. Ya gotta give me a name, Lorna. It's okay," the warm voice soothed; Nicky slid down to sit beside the bruised brunette. Arms instinctively found their way around Lorna's waist, tugging her onto her own body.

Lorna threw her up arms and shook her head profusely. "I didn't see who, Nicky. It was dark and I was in too much pain to really care. It don't matter anymore. I'm fine."

Stroking a soft kiss against her head, the older woman shook hers angrily. Like hell it didn't matter, she thought. Anything and everything mattered when it came to Lorna. Lorna was her reason to breathe. Her sunshine in all of the darkness. If she was in some sort of trouble, Nicky vowed to protect her. She couldn't risk losing the one person in her life who ever brought such a warmth to her heart. Oh no way would she let that be taken from her. Not again.

"It sure as fuck does matter, kid. You're the love of my life and I cannot afford to lose you. I'll find the devil who hurt you and make sure they pay. How fucking dare they hurt you. Not only are you the sweetest girl in here but you're fucking pregnant. Who the fuck beats up a pregnant woman?"

Tears continued to pour heavily down porcelain cheeks. Lorna nestled her head into the other's neck, wrapping her arms tight around it. "Please, hon, just don't worry about who it was. I don't want you to get yourself in trouble or nothing. Please stop worrying. I-I'm fine. I'll be fine. I love you," her voice heavy with emotion as she brushed her lips lightly along her flesh.

"I love you, too, my baby—that's why I  _can't not_  worry. The thought of someone even just looking at ya funny makes me wanna lose my shit. You're the sweetest person I've ever met…sure, you're naïve and stubborn sometimes…but you would never do anything to anyone. You would never do anything to make this-this something that a person would even fucking consider—What did this person fucking do, huh? How'd they hurt you? At least tell me that, doll."

Hugging her neck even tighter, Lorna felt a small whimper come through her windpipe. She swallowed hard and pecked a tiny kiss to the blatantly infuriated Nicky's cheek. "Nicky, stop. It's okay. I'm fine. I mean my neck feels like it's been trampled by a few hundred elephants and my head is throbbing but I ain't gonna die."

Sucking in a hard breath of air, Nicky lifted her head slightly to thoroughly search for any signs of damage. A few stray tears leaked down her cheeks when her eyes caught sight of the handprints around Lorna's very bruised-up neck. "The bitch choked you? Fuck," she whispered, stroking her fingers softly around it. Her eyes, warm with compassion, moved to look back up into the other's. "My poor, poor baby. I'm so sorry…so fucking sorry you had to fucking deal with this shit. But I'm here now; I'm gonna take care of you, my baby. I'm gonna nurse ya back to health—sound good?"

"I love you, Nicky. I already feel better just by having ya hold me. Thank you."

Her soft voice brought a faint smile to Nicky's face. She cupped her hands lovingly around porcelain cheeks, peering tenderly into her dark orbs. "Well, I'm gonna hold ya all day if that's the case. I think cuddles and love are a good prescription for you, doll. You don't have to thank me for taking care of you, my baby, I love you so much. Taking care of you is something I  _enjoy_. Something I wanna do for the rest of our lives."


	6. Hidden Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based off Boo's statement, in season four, of Lorna's using a toothbrush to make herself sick. Takes place in season six setting, however.

_Hidden Scars_

It wasn't something she meant to do. She hadn't planned to shovel food into her mouth during meals and then force all of it back up each night in the bathroom. But, regardless, it gradually became a nightly ritual for Lorna. She found herself spending hours upon hours retching over a toilet until her throat grew raw and inflamed. The pain such activity left her throat in didn't much as phase her; she welcomed it with open arms. After watching Nicky—the woman she loved and yearned after—get forcefully taken to maximum security, this was the only way to ease the hurt. The hurt of being left alone.

The riot and everything that followed afterwards only strengthened her desire to hide away in a bathroom stall until her stomach was empty of all nutrients. It was all she could control during the ordeal. All she could do to keep herself together. Throughout the entire three days—three excruciatingly long days—she found herself feeling so lonely. A loneliness she'd never experienced before. And the only way she knew how to deal with such a sensation was to heave over a toilet until she had nothing left in her.

* * *

Even after she was carted away to max—along with the hundreds of other inmates—the heaving routine continued. It was the one thing in her life that she had the ability to take control of. The only way she knew how to cope with her profoundly-rooted pain—the isolation and fear of her new place of residency. The time she spent in the shower stall—late each night and early each morning—was all she had to keep her from falling apart.

* * *

The first time she caught glimpse of a familiar bush of red hair, only a day after her arrival, she felt her entire body freeze. It was like a dream to her. A sight too good to be true, she knew. There wasn't a chance that was really her—really her Nicky. It'd been too long since their last encounter—too much time had past for this to click in her brain that it wasn't only a dream; this was reality.

Not until she heard that warm, husky, voice did she believe any of what she saw was real. She did a doubletake, eyes searching in its direction and finding the very woman standing only a few feet away, talking to a group of women she wasn't familiar with. A sad sigh escaped through her throat. She should have figured that Nicky would make new friends. And why shouldn't she? Her brown eyes turned away, pained at the very vivid realization that all she had now was herself. Even Nicky didn't seem to want her anymore—and she couldn't blame her. No one needed to be bothered with Lorna. She was not worth the trouble.

* * *

Dinner came and Lorna felt anything but hungry. The thought of putting any morsel of food into her mouth made her physically sick. Yet, the last thing she needed right now was for a CO to yell at her for not attending supper like everyone else; so, she forced herself out of her cell and down to the highly busy food-line. She quickly grabbed a small tray of food and walked to an empty table. She couldn't face people today. Not after seeing Nicky again…after seeing her happily moved on with a possible new prison family.

She used the fork to move around tiny pieces of pasta, her head shaking solemnly. Her life went from the peak of a mountain to the very bottom of a rabbit hole in the flash of a light. This new prison, it was a thousand times worse than Litchfield; hell, it made  _that_ look like a children's carnival. Making friends here was like trying to pull teeth from a family of lions—it just wouldn't happen.

" _Morello?_  Oh, thank God, someone I can actually sit with who won't plot my death," a recognizable light Spanish accent rang through Lorna's ears. She looked up from the tray to come face-to-face with Flaca—who appeared just as frazzled as she felt.

"Hey," Lorna muttered, the usual chirpy tone absent from her greeting. Though everything in her was drained and bleak, she managed to force a small smile on her face. She could use the company; something to help keep her mind off of Nicky. "Yeah, this place is real shitty—ain't it?"

Stabbing a piece of meat, Flaca gave a nod in response. No prison was drearier than this hellhole. Especially without her best friend. A small smile found its way to her face as well; it was a comfort to find someone from Litchfield. A person who never caused trouble with anyone. "Hell yeah it is. All these bitches are depressing as shit," she said, a light chuckle following it.

Lorna focused her eyes back towards her barely-touched tray. She was most-likely one of those now, she sadly internalized. Without Nicky or any of her former "family", she felt nothing but desolation and withdrawn from the world. She nodded, however, and forced a small bite of pasta into her mouth. "Where's that friend a yours you're always with?"

"Oh, ya mean Maritza?" The Hispanic inmate questioned, her heart heavy just speaking that name. Seeing Lorna nod, she sighed and took a sip from her plastic cup. "They sent her to some prison in fucking Ohio.  _Ohio_  can ya believe that shit?"

"I'm sorry," the Italian murmured, a look of sympathy in her dark brown orbs. God did she know exactly how Flaca felt. Separation from the one a person loves was the most agonizing thing in the world. She knew that from experience. From the three long months she'd been without her Nicky. And now in Nicky's vicinity but not having the ability to actually communicate with her. It hurt like a barefoot walk on scorching pavement.

Flaca shrugged her shoulders and chucked a piece of flaky meatball into her mouth. "Hey, not like ya can help it. This prison just hates to see any of us happy. Oh, well, fuck it. At least ya got your girl Nicky back, yeah? Ya talk to her yet? I've seen her a couple times while cleaning."

The inquiry only strengthened the pang in Lorna's chest. Oh, how she longed to see Nicky and catch up with her. But she knew that wasn't plausible. She couldn't intervene in Nicky's life, not when it seemed she found a place where she belonged. She wouldn't ruin that for her, no matter how much it hurt to be without her. "I haven't gotten around to it—she seems busy and I don't wanna disturb her. One a these days I'm sure we'll run into each other, maybe," Lorna finally answered and gathered her things.

She stood up from her seat, giving one last glance towards the other inmate. "I'll see ya later, gonna go catch a shower before it gets crowded," her voice muttered as she gave a small wave in correlation with her words.

"Ya didn't even eat," Flaca chimed but saw that Lorna was already half-way out of the room.

* * *

It was her evening ritual to take a nice, hot, shower each day after dinner. Washing away another dreadful day at Litchfield max, Nicky deemed it. The place was horrible; COs didn't give a damn about any inmates, inmates didn't give a damn about other inmates—a never ending cycle of no one giving a damn, she found it to be. She hated to admit it but she missed regular Litchfield. The COs there, the people…her entire family and of course, Lorna. Oh, how she missed that bubbly little Italian woman—her cute accent, angelic face, and God, she couldn't forget those hot red lips.

The steam from the running water was the best part of Nicky's day. She lived for this treasured moment every single evening. The moment where all she had to worry about was the temperature of the water. A moment where she could gather her thoughts. She smiled and soon felt the filth of the day tumble off of her. A beautiful time, she thought. She brushed her hands through her long red hair, letting it comb the bubbly shampoo all over. Such a simple gesture gave so much happiness to Nicky. On the outside, showering was something almost everyone took for granted—but in here, showering was viewed as a luxury. At least in her case it was.

Ten minutes flew by rather quickly, she noted as she turned the shower's switch. A sad sigh came through her larynx at the thought of having to return to her reality. The bleak reality of going back to a bleak prison life. She dreaded it but knew there wasn't anything she could do to change it. She just had to finish out her sentence and hope to get out on time.

Throwing a towel on her head, she rushed to get herself redressed in her khakis. The sensation of the cotton against her freshly washed skin was everything to her. Something she craved for every evening. She placed her hands on the towel that covered her hair and moved it around to aide in its drying. After a few seconds, she threw it off and let her hair sit against her shoulders in its naturally wild curls.

While walking towards the exit, the sound of loud choking immediately halted her. She followed where it seemed to come from and cautiously let her eyes peak inside the stall. What she saw made her instinctively throw back the curtain and envelop her arms tight around a heaving Lorna's body. She couldn't believe it. How the very woman she missed so much was here—right in front of her.

"Oh,  _Lorna_ ," Nicky murmured with pleasure, pulling the woman closer to her and brushing a soft kiss against her head. "The food doesn't agree with ya, huh? This place is shit. The food comes outta some kinda bag. Course it's gonna make ya sick. Oh, god, Lorna—I can't fucking believe it's really you. What the—baby, what the hell are ya doin' here? How'd ya get sent here?"

The sensation of those familiar arms around her—that husky voice addressing her, it was everything Lorna needed these past few months. All that she craved. Yet, now, it made her withdraw even further into her head. She couldn't make sense of this right now. How Nicky could truly be happy to see her. It didn't make sense. A lump formed in her throat. She hated herself for pulling away from the much desired embrace—the only pair of arms that ever brought her the security she knew she needed in her life.

Such actions brought a strong bout of concern over the taller redhead. She tilted her head, big brown orbs gazing softly into Lorna's. "What's wrong, doll? You love when I hold ya…what's going on? Something happen to ya?"

"Nothing," Lorna whispered, shaking her head. But she refused to look Nicky in the eye. She hadn't the strength. It ripped her heart up to refuse any of the redhead's touch; the touch that her body so desperately yearned for. "I missed you… _a lot_ ," the words softly muttered from her faintly quivering lips.

"Yeah? Then come here and lemme hold ya," Nicky pleaded, opening her arms wide for the woman she loved. The only woman who could ever fill the emptiness in her heart. It worried her tremendously to see her in this odd condition. To see her refuse her affection when it was so blatantly obvious she wanted it— _needed_  it. "Something's wrong, baby, you never act like this. Did the guards touch you or somethin'? Which one?"

Shaking her head, Lorna only backed farther away. Tears gradually leaked from her eyes. She couldn't comprehend why she was torturing herself in this manner but she knew she couldn't allow Nicky to bring her any comfort. She had to go. Nicky didn't need someone like her anymore, she remembered. "I, uh, I gotta go back to my cell. I-I'll see ya around, Nicky," her voice cracked between sniffles. She forced her way through the narrow path and out of the room.

* * *

The next morning Nicky vowed to get to the bottom of the Italian woman's actions. She wouldn't allow her to get away with that. With pretending nothing's bothering her when it was so clear that something was. After receiving her tray, she searched the entire room until she caught glimpse of a familiar brunette. She ignored the looks her usual table of "friends" gave her and made a v-line to Lorna.

Eyes glued to her half-thawed waffle, Lorna all but jumped at the feeling of someone's hand resting over her own. Without even looking, she knew it was Nicky's. She memorized Nicky's touches like she did all her friends' phone numbers back in elementary school. Usually the gentle gesture would immediately put a smile on her face but instead it only complicated things.

"Talk to me, kid," Nicky finally spoke out. She sat across from her so that she could stare her in the eye. Find the culprit of her problem. It pained her to see Lorna this way. So withdrawn and depressive almost. Two things that she knew Lorna  _was not._  "What happened? I need to know what the fuck happened to make ya like this, baby. This is not you."

Lorna shook her head and cut a sliver of a piece of waffle. She used the fork to swish it around it the syrup before bringing it towards her mouth for a bite. The taste reminded her of school mornings only a lot less appealing. "Nothing happened, Nicky. I'm fine. Don't worry about me," she whispered, keeping her eyes down at the food that made up her tray. It was growing harder and harder to push Nicky away. She loathed it. But Nicky didn't need her, she reminded herself. She had a new family. There was no reason for her to intrude on that.

Rubbing her temples in frustration, Nicky grumbled out a sigh. Something didn't feel right about this. She didn't like the way Lorna whispered and barely looked up from her food. It was highly uncharacteristic of her, she knew. "Something fucking happened for ya to behave this way. You're not yourself, Lorna baby. What's wrong? Please fucking tell me. I won't stop pestering you until ya tell me. I need to know. I love you so much— _so much_ , doll."

However, before Lorna even had a chance to respond, an infuriated inmate—short-brown hair flatly sitting framed around her face—came marching her way to their table. She stood in front of it, blue eyes piercing angrily across at the petite Italian woman. "What the fuck is this? Nichols, what the fuck are ya doing with  _that_? And why the hell did I hear ya just proclaim your love to her? Ya never fucking mentioned you had a little girlfriend to me," her thick Australian accent growled through the boiling rage.

Everything inside of her stopped. There wasn't enough air for Lorna to take in. She felt her heart-rate rise while her mouth gaped open, instinctively gasping for air. It shouldn't come as a surprise to her, she knew, but that didn't stop it from doing exactly that. The pure thought of Nicky's hooking up with another woman made her want to hide away in that shower stall for the rest of her life.

In a matter of seconds, Nicky was at Lorna's side—pulling her against her chest and rubbing her back to help her catch her breath. She lifted her head to glare darkly back at Stella—the woman she made one terrible mistake with and longed to erase it. "That?  _That?_ She is not a fucking  _that_ ya little heartless bitch," she hissed, venom seeping heavily through her voice. "She's a sweet, beautiful, loving woman. Who I love with my entire heart. She's more than my girlfriend…she's my baby and I swear to God, ya ever try to hurt her—I'll ruin ya for good."

"Fuck you, Nichols. I'll just have Barb's posy come after your  _precious_  little friend if ya wanna play that game. You fucking slept with me—how can ya love that little plump figure? God, look at all that fat on her. I'm sure that'll be real fun to have sex with, huh?"

Lorna finally had the ability to suck in a deep enough breath of air and pushed her way out of Nicky's hold. She couldn't handle this. She needed to get away—to go to her safe place. Her head bent down as she moved her legs nearer the opening to the hallway. It made her physically ill to imagine Nicky having sex with that woman. It made her crave her heaving routine even more. The only thing that could calm her down at a time like this, she knew.

* * *

Realization hit her hard the minute she walked inside the shower room. The familiar sound of heaving and gagging alerted her to where to find the petite brunette. She sighed and rubbed her hands over her face. Nicky loathed herself for not putting two and two together. She frisked her way towards the stall—noting it was the same one she found her in last night—and tore open the curtain. This time, she let herself take a second to look Lorna over. A pang sat in her chest to conclude that this was Lorna's way of coping. It tore at her heart to know that.

Continuing to force herself to retch, Lorna ignored the presence of whoever was standing behind her. She didn't care anymore; she just needed to clear herself out. It was the only way to make her feel better. Or at least numb enough to not care about anything. Her throat started to hurt from the continuous reflux of acid and bile; however, she ignored it and kept pushing. She pushed and pushed until her face started to become blue.

Terrified at what was occurring, Nicky immediately grabbed her and pushed firmly—yet as gentle as she could—on her abdomen to get her to cough whatever was stuck out. As soon as it released from her mouth into the drain, Nicky pulled Lorna away and onto her lap. "How long? How long has this been going on, baby?" She sternly inquired, arms wrapped protectively around her waist.

"What?"

"Come on, Lorna…don't play around," Nicky pleaded. She laid the brunette's head delicately against her chest and ran her hands lovingly through her dark waves. "How long have ya been forcing yourself to vomit? I need you to tell me, doll. This is dangerous and you could really hurt yourself."

Lorna sniffled lightly. She bowed her head, shameful of herself. Of Nicky's finding out about her little secret. The secret she longed to keep hidden. "I-I didn't force myself to do that. I'm fine. Please just-just stop bothering with me."

The request shattered Nicky's heart to hear. She shook her head fiercely and tightened her hold on the other. Like hell she'd leave Lorna alone…especially after an incident like this. Over her dead body, she thought. "Lorna don't lie. You and I both know you made yourself puke. You need to tell me how long you've been doing it. You are not fine—tell me what's going on right now! Come on, baby, I love you so fucking much—why are you so afraid of me all of a sudden? What the fuck happened?"

"I'm not afraid of you. I love you, Nicky—I missed you so much. It hurt real bad and then I came here and saw ya yesterday in the common area—"

"Yesterday in the common area? Why didn't you come talk to me, baby? I didn't even know you were here until last night."

Trying to push way, Lorna shook her head and focused her eyes on the ground. "I didn't wanna intrude," she muttered, tracing a finger around the tiles that make up the floor of the shower.

Nicky grabbed her hand immediately and looked heatedly into her eyes, "Don't touch that floor, it's  _filthy_. I don't want ya getting sick, doll." She let out a dreary sigh at the comment—inwardly smacking herself for being too caught up with the damn sister feud—and took Lorna's face into her hands. She lay her forehead softly over hers. " _Baby_ , you're the most important person to me…please don't ever feel that way. I love you; you're all I've been thinking about since the moment I was thrown here. God, it's been fucking hell without you, doll."

"But what about that Australian girl? Obviously, it wasn't that much hell…I mean if ya wanna be with her, that's fine. I don't wanna keep ya from her, Nicky."

"Fuck Stella," Nicky hissed, caressing the tips of her fingers lightly along the sides of Lorna's teary cheeks. "That was a mistake and a half, believe me. You, baby,  _you_  are who I love. Who I wanna be with. I don't give two rat's asses about that Stella bitch. Especially not after she insulted my sweet baby the way she did. Jesus Christ. I'm so sorry about that, Lorna love. Please tell me ya don't believe anything she said about ya? You're gorgeous and perfect, doll."

Another sniffle escaped Lorna. She shook her head. Of course the words were true. Why she needed to make everything she put in her mouth come back up. She was too plump—too heavy. And, no one deserved to be with a person like that. A person like herself. "I-I think there's some truth in what she said, though. Don't you?"

Shaking her head infuriatingly, Nicky peered intensely down at the brunette. It boiled a rage in her to hear Lorna think so poorly of herself. She gritted her teeth to keep the anger from pouring out of her and stroked a kiss comfortingly over the soft flesh of the other's forehead. "I know there's absolutely no fucking truth in anything she said. You're fucking perfect, my Lorna. Is this why you force yourself to puke? Do you fucking think you're fat? Did someone make you think this way? Lorna, talk to me. When did all this shit start? Have you been doing this the entire time I've known you?"

"I didn't mean to do it, Nicky. It just—it happened."

Nicky felt her eyes blink rapidly, she slowly nodded. "How long ago did this just happen, kid? Can you remember?"

A lump formed in the back of her throat. Lorna bowed her head and gave a slight shrug. "I don't know exactly when. But probably around the time you were sent here. I-I was just so alone and hurt and scared…that the only thing I felt I could do was control my weight."

Such a confession brought a few stray tears to Nicky's eyes. She wrapped her arms tighter around the trembling brunette and placed her head softly onto her chest. It broke her heart to hear how much agony the woman she loved was left with after her forceful departure. "Oh, Lorna," she softly started, resting her head lovingly atop Lorna's. Lips stroked multiple kisses over brown waves. "Baby…I'm so sorry ya felt that way. So sorry you were hurting so bad that the only thing you had was to hurt yourself even more. God, Lorna—sweetie, that's not good for ya. That's not good for you to fucking think that making yourself sick is normal. Is a way to comfort yourself. It's unhealthy. You need to stop. Control your weight? Why would you even need to? You've never been fat. And baby, even if you were that's no damn reason to harm yourself like this. Why didn't you go to Red? Why didn't you talk to her? You know you're just as much one of her daughters as I am, yeah? She would have helped you cope—in a healthy way."

"Nicky, you don't understand. It's the only thing I have control over in here and there. I need to do it. I don't feel right if I don't do it when I'm supposed to."

"I understand that you're fucking addicted to this. And guess what babe? I'm a fucking drug addict so I have some knowledge on addictive behaviors. This vomiting shit needs to end. I know it's not gonna be easy but there's no way in hell I'm letting this go on any longer. You have no idea how much harm you might have done to yourself by fucking doing this. You could tear your damn esophagus by retching the way you do—baby, if that happens, you'd fucking die. I'm not losing you. So you're done. You're fucking done. No more coming in here to throw up. If I see you walking anywhere near this place, I'll be following you. I can't let you hurt yourself any more than you already have. I love you way too much to do that."

Tears poured heavily from Lorna's at that point, she shook her head fiercely. She couldn't agree to that. Nicky didn't understand how much she needed this ritual. How much this ritual saved her. Without it, she'd surely fall apart and that was not something she was okay with. "I don't wanna stop, I can't. If I—if I do, the pain will come back. I don't want that."

Nicky sighed, stroking a hand delicately through her dark hair. "I know you don't, baby. You're addicted to this. But you're going to stop. You have me now. I'm here, I'm not going anywhere. You don't need this shit anymore, Lorna. I'm right here and I'm gonna help ya get past this. When ya feel like coming down here to vomit, I want you to come to me instead. I'll give you comfort. I'll hold you and kiss you until you feel better. I won't hurt you like this fucking puking ritual is. I'll protect you and love you. No more of this. Absolutely no more," she assured, stroking her lips warmly over Lorna's head before laying it softly back against her chest.

"I love you with my whole heart, Lorna. And I promise you don't need to do this anymore. You have me. I'm gonna take care of you just like before. Everything is gonna be just fine, my baby."


	7. Renunciation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one-shot is inspired by the season promo where they are photographed sitting together on the bus. I was intrigued by that and wanted to create a one-shot around it. Since they didn't include anything like that in any of the episodes.

_Renunciation_

Surrendering herself was one of the hardest decisions Lorna ever had to make. The last thing she ever wanted was to be separated from Nicky for a second time. A second time by  _choice_. But that was exactly what she did. What Nicky influenced her to do. Out of the strong and unconditional love she so clearly has for her, Lorna solemnly realized. Her heart felt heavy as she followed the line of other surrendering inmates outside the prison. She longed to have Nicky by her side. The one person who—no matter the circumstance—always filled her with a reassuring comfort.

Now, she found herself alone and terrified as she stood outside the prison. Waiting for whatever she—and the rest of the surrenders—were to do next. A lump sat in the back of her throat. She pondered over whether this was really the best decision. To separate herself from Nicky once more. This time out of choice. Grant it, a choice she didn't like but a choice nonetheless.

It seemed like hours passed by while they stood there. Out in the cold with nothing to wear but the khakis they were all given back when they first arrived. A shiver ran down her spine as she rubbed her hands together to keep some amount of heat. Her eyes flicked nervous around their surroundings and out of the corner of her eye, she swear she saw a figure that resembled Vinny's. Just what she needed at this very moment. A harsh vision to bring her back to reality. Another hard swallow she took. Braced herself.

When he caught sight of her, she knew he was going to jog his way towards her. She felt bad that she flinched at the idea. The idea of his touch against her body. It wasn't like he wasn't good to her or anything. Hell, he was probably better to her than any man she dated growing up. But he wasn't Nicky. Didn't give her the same secure sensation that Nicky had. Vinny wasn't the person her heart desired in times of terror or pure bliss. No, the person she craved was that beautiful rambunctious redhead.

"I don't know why you're here, Vinny. Ya ran off real quick after ya saw that I got a bun in the oven." The words came out harder than she'd originally planned. However, maybe it was better that way. To push him away with the cold shoulder. He could do better anyway. She hurt enough people for one life, she thought.

The dark strands of fine hair that made-up his eyebrows arched puzzlingly overtop of his brown eyes. "I thought ya were making it up. I mean I was in shock, ya know? I'm sorry. I wanna be here for both you and our baby. I'll take care of him until ya get out and then we'll all live together. Finally live our life together," the tone in his voice pleading and desperate.

Lorna shook her head, gradually walking further away from him. Following the crowd of inmates towards a row of grey buses—that looked like they may have been heading to a reform school of some sort with how they so closely resembled school buses…but yet with a gloomy twist. "I can't stay married to ya, Vinny. I'm sorry. I…I, uh, I love someone else. It wouldn't be fair to you or her for us to be together. Not when my heart belongs to someone else."

"Wouldn't be fair to me or  _her_? Ya tellin' me you're in love with another woman? Ya gotta be shitting me—tell me it's not that girl who called me the other day? Practically begged me to do the right thing and come to find out she's the fucking one you love! Tell me this is all bullshit."

It warmed Lorna's heart tremendously to know that Nicky did something so sweet like that for her. Only, once more, proving to her who her heart truly and utterly belonged to. Nicky. The woman who, no matter what, always seemed to put her first. Even when she didn't deserve the gesture. That was why she knew she had to end this marriage. She needed to finally admit her true feelings. Finally let Nicky know that she loved her back. The love that no one deserved more than that fiercely loving human being.

"Her name's Nicky. And, yes, I love her. I love her more than anything in the world. I can't keep lying to myself anymore. I'm so sorry, Vinny. So sorry for marrying you and not returning the same love. But I can't go on to this next prison without telling ya the truth. If it makes ya hate me then so be it. I love Nicky."

Anger and pain flashed on Vinny's olive-toned face. He scrunched his forehead, trying desperately to make sense of his wife's shocking confession. "Ya mean to tell me you're divorcing me because you're in love with another woman? A felon, like yourself, at that, yeah?"

Lorna twirled a restless finger around a strand of her brown waves. She bit down on her tongue to stop herself from giving a bitter response. It wouldn't be wise with all the officers surrounding the vicinity. "That's what I'm telling ya. I'm sorry, Vinny—I really am," her tone sincere, yet faintly tight.

He gave a curt nod. A disgruntled chuckle escaped from his throat. "You can have your damn divorce, no problem. But if ya think I'm letting my child get raised by two lesbians—ya got another thing coming, Lorna. Just ya wait! I'll be filing for full custody as soon as he's born."

* * *

After what felt like hours to Lorna, the herd of surrendering inmates were finally addressed to enter onto the line of subsequent buses. She didn't look back at the crowd of families that watched them. Of course, it was no surprise that her mother and father weren't among them—her mother lie sickly in her bed while her father kept himself glued to the couch. She shook her head and pushed forward. Listened for an officer to direct her where to go.

Inside the bus hadn't been any warmer than standing out in the thirty-degree weather, she rapidly came to realize. It was noticeably run-down and worn-out. The floor-boards were beginning to fade, most of the grey cushioned seats had tears in them, and some of the glass windows appeared broken. She walked cautiously down the narrow pathway until she got to the back of the bus where she chose to sit in a more semi-sanitary seat. With a baby on the way, she knew she needed to be careful in prison. Had to take extra precautions for her unborn child's sake.

There was a solemn vibe that filled the bus. No one seemed to be conversing other than the bus driver's greeting before a new inmate entered. Lorna rested her head against the rim of the window and let her eyes shut. Everything felt worthless without Nicky. She couldn't see herself surviving in any prison without that woman by her side. Especially if it was Litchfield Max—a maximum security prison without her best friend, her one true love, she knew she was done for.

Right when she was seconds away from fading out and the bus was nearly moving, the sound of a person's fist banging on the entrance door quickly deterred her from falling asleep. It caught everybody's attention, she saw. All their eyes peered widely ahead to the front door where a riot officer stood knocking. " _Wait, wait_ ," his voice muffled from the inside. "We found a group of inmates hiding—open the doors, please."

Lorna felt her heart momentarily catch in her throat. No way Nicky could be one of them, she thought. She didn't want to get her hopes up only to be disappointed. Her eyes turned away, not wanting to search through the newcomers for that familiar redhead when the chances were so slim. She couldn't do that to herself. It wasn't good for her or the baby.

So, moments later, when she felt the cushion sink beside her, she felt a sense of optimism overcome her. She forced her orbs to gaze up at the culprit. Instant relief fell over her. She reached her hands up to touch against Nicky's cheeks, a gesture to make sure that she was truly there. Really occupying the spot next to her. Happy tears rapidly came to her surface.

"Surprised to see me, yeah kid?" Nicky was the first to break the silence. Her big brown eyes peering warmly down into the brunette's. A few tears sat in her own as well. Grateful tears—she began to regret her decision of persuading Lorna to surrender almost immediately. Didn't like the idea of being separated from her yet again.

"Happy to—I was so worried I never would, hon. The thought of being shipped off to another prison without you…it made me sick. Where did ya go? And how are ya here?"

"Well, I'm here now," the taller woman whispered, smiling softly down at Lorna. She cupped a hand around her cheek and lovingly wiped at the tears that soaked it. "We're here together, doll. By some miracle or another. Oh, I just—I went back down to the bunker where everyone was but…I couldn't stay there without you, Lorna. I've already been without ya once—I mean we both have—I couldn't go through that hell again. Ironic thing is, however, right before I was ready to up and surrender, we were found by a guard. So I guess it's fate that brought us back together. All that stuff ya believe in…it's true, kid."

A warm smile lit up Lorna's entire face as her head subconsciously leaned against the other's shoulder. Her arms instinctively wrapped around her neck with a strong desire to be physically touching one another. "I know it is. Because I got you back and that's all that matters to me. No matter what prison this bus of doom takes us to, I know I'll be okay since I'm with you."

Brushing a small kiss over her head, Nicky warmed at the idea of being with Lorna. But in a way she realized she may never have her. Hell, the chances were close to none now that Lorna had a baby on the way…with her husband. It broke her heart severely. All she ever wanted—since the first day she watched that little Italian beauty walk through those prison doors—was to call Lorna  _hers_.  _Her lover, her girlfriend, her wife_. And now, she might never get that chance.

"Bus of doom? I'd say that's pretty damn fitting. Probably headed down to max. And that ain't gonna be a picnic, kid. It's all fucked up. Of course, ya won't have to worry though. I'm gonna protect you, Lorna. I won't let any of em' push ya around down there. God—I'd do anything for you, doll. I love you so fucking much that  _it hurts_  to think about."

The tone of her voice slightly alarmed the brunette. Her head slightly lifted off the shoulder so her eyes could gaze up into Nicky's. Studied her face for any hiding emotions. Searched for how she may be feeling. "I know ya do, hon. You love me so much that you were willing to call Vinny and persuade him to do what's right for the baby. If that doesn't prove how much ya love me, I don't know what does," her voice softly started out, fingers brushing lightly along pale cheeks.

"No one has or will ever love me in the same deep way you do. And I can't love anyone the way I do you. I talked to Vinny before we were forced onto these buses…and I told him that I'm divorcing him. Proclaimed to him that you are my soul-mate, Nicky. The person I want to be with when I'm happy or sad or anything, really. I wanna spend every single day with you, Nicky, and only you. Vinny is not and never will be you. That's why I couldn't be married to him. He was a person to fill the void I was left with when you were taken to max. And I shoulda fucking realized that sooner…coulda saved us all the trouble but ya know how dumb I am. I'm so sorry for all the hurt, honey. I didn't mean to hurt ya, ever. I love you so much, Nicky."

"First of all, baby,  _you're not_  dumb. You're just … ya can be a little naïve sometimes is all. And, second, that's the best damn thing I've heard all day. Thank God you've finally realized your true feelings," Nicky began, excitement clearly spilling through her voice. Her arms snaked protectively around the petite brunette's waist, hugging her as tight as she could. Her lips pressed warm kisses all over Lorna's head.

A tender hand she stroked through thick brown waves of hair. A rather large smile glowed on her face. The dream she always had that she didn't think would ever turn into reality. It left her whole body feeling warm and tingly. "It's okay, Lorna. I know it wasn't intentional. You're too sweet to ever want to hurt anyone. One of the many reasons I adore you, doll-face. And, now, I love ya even more that you've given up your "ideal" husband to be with me. You have no fucking clue how long I've been waiting for this day…dreaming about it. Except I never thought it'd actually happen. A dream come true is what this is."

Lorna beamed ecstatically, framing her hands delicately around the older woman's face. She inched her own closer until their lips were brushing against one another. Her smile widened as she stroked her red ones passionately over Nicky's. The kiss lasted several minutes before she pulled away to peer intently up at big brown orbs.

"This isn't just a dream, though, hon. This is reality. You're the love of my life— _not_  Vinny. And, it feels so good to finally admit that."

Nicky smiled lovingly, pulling Lorna's head to lay over her chest. "It feels good for me to hear that, kid. Believe me. You're the only person I can ever imagine wanting a life with. So I'm over the moon to know ya feel the exact same way. I don't have to look for anyone else, now. I have you. My sweet little doll-face. You will be my girlfriend, yeah?"

"Of course, hon. Hell, I'd be your wife if ya asked that."

"Love the enthusiasm, Lorna baby, but ya better back up a few steps. Let's be girlfriends first and see where that takes us, yeah?" A warm chuckle escaped as her lips stroked over the top of her head.

The brunette laughed nervously and looked up at Nicky with a sheepish grin. "Sorry. You know me, Nicky, I'm always getting into things too fast. I don't wanna be like I was with anyone else. I wanna make ya happy."

Nodding intuitively, Nicky gathered her head in her hands and pulled her in for another soft kiss. "Hey, there's nothing to be sorry about. I think it's so cute that you're already thinking of our future together. I just want us to take this relationship slow, especially while we're still in prison. I don't want anything to get in our way, ya know? We've been through so much already, kid, we don't need anything else to come between us. So, as long as we love each other and take things slow—we're gonna be okay. We're all we need…and ma, of course. But that's known without being said."

"Is max really where we're headed, Nicky?"

Nicky shrugged slightly. She didn't know for sure but looking at the passing surroundings out the window seemed to acclaim her suspicion. "I'm gonna say probably, kid. If ya look out there," her finger pointed out against the glass-window, "you can see where this bus is headed and it ain't Disney World. You scared?"

She didn't know if it was fear or anxiety that plagued her the most. Her head tilted in puzzlement. Maximum security wasn't something she was familiar with…of course, it filled her with a slight trepidation to possibly be headed to such a facility. "Well, I'm not exactly excited over it. I'm just glad I have you with me, hon. God…I wouldn't a been able to make it through if ya didn't show up here," was Lorna's honest and raw response.

"Aw, kid," the redhead started off, her voice husky against the flesh of Lorna's ear. She stroked a hand tenderly through her hair, letting her fingers twirl around loose strands. " _I'm here_. I'm gonna take care a you, just like I always have. I know it sounds scary and shit but I promise it'll be okay. You have me to protect you, baby. And I'll do my damnedest."

Nicky gave a warm smile down at her girlfriend before taking her head back in her hands and placing it gently onto her chest. She wrapped her arms securely around her waist, holding her as tight as humanly possible. The two stayed in that position for the remainder of the drive, craving the physical contact that they knew they wouldn't get to share as much in max.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: This one-shot I had started writing in August but then ended up with a strong bout of writer's block and kind of abandoned it. However, I finally figured out what to do with it. It's something I wish would have happened, both with not getting a flashback (still) of how Lorna and Nicky met as well as not getting the satisfaction of Lorna confessing her true feelings to Nicky. Ugh. So, I wrote what I feel should have happened this season. But probably never will. Not sure what I think of it. Feel free to review and let me know your thoughts. I really do cherish each and every one of them. I like to know what people think of my writing/ideas. Thanks. Enjoy.

_Vow to Love and Protect_

_That very first moment the new Italian inmate caught Nicky Nichols' eyes, she knew she was done. Sure, every so often, a new inmate would pique her interest but this one—oh, god, everything about her was worthy of lust. Everything about her made Nicky's heart pump harder. The doe-brown orbs had her insides melt when being looked so meekly over by them; her petite stature brought forth a protective instinct, and those frowning red lips—oh, did those tie it all together._

_With her usual lopsided smirk, Nicky coolly leaned against the wall and let her big eyes scope over the freshly-brought-in inmate's body. "What's your name, kid?" The query easily slipped through her mouth, arms held over her chest while she closely observed the brunette women's every move._

_"Nobody."_

_That thick, high-pitched, Brooklynn mixed with Boston accent strengthened Nicky's desire towards her. The girl's answer, however, covered her face in puzzlement. She quirked an eyebrow, peering heavily across at her. "Nobody, yeah? That's an…hmm…interesting name. First or last? Cause we gotta go by last names in here," a light-hearted chuckle escaped._

_The shorter inmate timidly moved her shoulders up and down, focusing her eyes on the floor beneath. Prison was the last place she ever expected to end up. And, from television programs she'd seen, she knew it wasn't a safe idea to associate with other women. She had no clue whether they were murderers or whatnot. "Don't matter."_

_"Aw, come on, can't ya tell me your name? A pretty girl like you has to have a better name than Nobody," Nicky smirked, nonchalantly placing a hand on the other's shoulder._

_Immediately, the brunette pulled away and shook her head. Her siblings warned her about making friends in this place. These women didn't want to be her friend; they wanted to use her. She wasn't going to allow that to happen. "I don't want to be known, okay? Just leave me alone. I don't want no trouble. I'm just here to do my time and then I'm gonna back to my life," she muttered, keeping her eyes pointed downward._

_"No trouble here, kid," the redhead nodded, giving her some distance but not letting her eyes leave her body. The smirk quickly vanished—rather morphing into a genuine smile. "Ya can't do your time without any friends…it'd get awfully lonely, ya know? How long ya got anyway?"_

_Swallowing thickly, the shorter inmate shifted uneasily in her spot. The question made her stomach twist and churn. She didn't want to dwell on the length of her prison sentence. Didn't want to be reminded of what she'd done to get herself in here. "This is prison—how can ya make friends here? How can ya_ trust  _anyone in here enough to be friends with them?"_

_Nicky nodded intuitively at hearing that. So, that's the issue, she quickly came to realize. "Aha, so, ya got trust issues—is that it, kid?" The meek nod in response was all that she needed; she walked a little closer to the short woman and gently placed a hand over her shoulder. "Allow me to show ya what a sincere friend is, will ya? I'm not fond of backstabbing bitches myself, doe-eyes."_

_"Doe-eyes?" An eyebrow arched quizzically._

_Chuckling, Nicky shrugged and peered intensely down at the Italian. "It's better than referring to ya as Nobody, kid. Can't ya tell me your name? I wanna know who I'm gonna be protecting in here, yeah?"_

_"What do ya mean who you're gonna be protecting? I don't need protected. Why does everyone automatically assume I'm weak just because I'm short, huh? I took karate when I was ten…got a white belt, I could fend for myself."_

_Such a comment stifled another light-hearted laugh out of the wild-haired redhead. This woman already had her wrapped around her finger and she had yet to even know her name. "A white belt, huh? Ya do know that's what everyone starts off with…right, kid? I mean I love your enthusiasm over that but people in here could really do a number on you. I'm not saying that to be mean, it's just the truth. And I, personally, don't wanna see that pretty face a yours all beat-up."_

_The brunette let out a defeated sigh and peered curiously over at her. She folded her arms over chest, "So, what's your name? Tell me yours and I'll tell ya mine."_

_"Someone," the word easily slipped out of Nicky's mouth, a playful smirk on her face. Two could play at that game, she thought. "I thought ya said yours was Nobody—changing your mind, kid?"_

_A small laugh rumbled from her throat at such a response. A laugh that only continued to lure Nicky's interest in the young Italian woman. "Well, I mean—I guess ya seem nice. So, I don't see a problem telling ya my name. It's just my siblings told me to be weary of people in here; I don't wanna get in no trouble, ya know?"_

_Nicky tilted her head slightly with a chuckle and allowed her shoulders to bounce up into a shrug. "I can be both nice and aggressive," she honestly admitted; and it wasn't anything short of the truth. She certainly didn't shy away from her aggressive side when she needed to be. But to her family—or what grew to be her family in there—a newfound compassion shined through._

_"However, I reserve my aggression for only the worst-case scenarios. You won't have to witness that." An eyebrow arched amusingly on her forehead, she peered strongly into the shorter woman's dark orbs. "Oh is that so? I take it they ain't ever been in prison either, yeah? Seriously, though, it's really not that bad in here, kid. Everyone's nice for the most part. Now, are ya gonna tell me your name or what?"_

_"Lorna…erm, I mean Morello."_

_Lorna Morello. The name easily rolled its way through Nicky's mind. A very suitable name for a clearly evident Italian woman, she had to admit. Pretty and petite just like the very woman who it belonged to. "Lorna Morello, huh? Pretty name for a pretty girl. I knew ya were Italian," a smirk took form on her face at the last comment._

_A light laugh croaked from Lorna's throat. Her brown eyes glanced over at Nicky with a slight twinkle in them. A slight twinkle that made the redhead tingle on the inside. "Oh yeah? How could ya know I'm Italian?"_

_"Gee, I don't know—the dark hair and eyes mighta gave it away." Nicky said with a light-hearted smirk._

_"A lotta people in here got dark hair and eyes—that mean everyone's Italian? Are_ you? _"_

_Folding her arms over her chest, Nicky rolled her eyes with a chuckle. "I was just messin' with ya, kid. Don't needa get all worked up over it," she stated playfully, a smirk forming at the corners of her mouth. Without even a thought, she brushed a hand feathery through the thick waves that made up the young woman's brown hair. Her eyes never had the pleasure of looking at such a stunning being as who stood across from her._

_Lorna moved her shoulders slightly but kept her mouth closed shut._

_Nicky kept her stance and watched the brunette with a searing intensity. The very sound of a small sniffle instantly caught her off guard. She walked a little closer to investigate the new inmate's face deeply. A clear dampness was noted. She reached her thumb slowly across to wipe it away with. "It's gonna be okay," she gently whispered._

_Shaking her head, Lorna tried her best to suck in her tears—to keep her emotions from expressing themselves but failed miserably. She was never good at hiding them anyway, she knew. Anyone could see through any façade she tried to put up. But the last thing she wanted was for other inmates to see how truly weak she was. It'd be like high school all over again…this time the prison edition._

_"How's it gonna be okay? This is—this is prison. I-I'm in fucking prison. I don't wanna be here."_

_"Nobody wants to be here, kid," Nicky muttered with a chuckle. Her orbs continued to stare intently into misty ones. Such innocent eyes didn't deserve to have tears in them, she quietly thought. "Well, I've been in here a year and I'm still doing okay. I think you'll be just fine yourself. I promise. It's really not that bad here."_

_"A year? How much longer are ya here for?" Lorna slightly sniffled, gazing up with curiosity._

_The inquiry had her pondering for a few seconds. She almost forgot how long her sentence was. Her eyes blinked. "Four more years," she answered with a bitter smile. At least with this new girl, she had a treasure to search…or try to search. "What about you, kid—how long ya got?" God did she hope it was four years. She crossed her fingers awaiting an answer._

_"Three years."_

_Three years? Nicky could work with that. Maybe she'd get an early release, anyway, with good behavior. "That's not too long. You'll be outta here in no time." She easily took notice of how tense and stressed the shorter woman was becoming. "Hey," she said, "ya wanna go for a walk? I can show ya around and take ya to my favorite place in here. Somewhere away from all the chaos and shit."_

_The chapel was a naturally quiet place in the prison. A place where Nicky spent a lot of her free time. No one really came in unless it was Sunday. The only day of the week it was used for any private and restricted services. She deemed it the perfect place to fulfill her sexual desires with other willing candidates. Or a place to just get away from the everyday madness of living in a corrupted prison system._

_She brought Lorna there in the hopes of easing her anxiety and terror of her new—temporary—home. They settled down on the ground behind the organ on the stage—a spot Nicky favored, one she knew would keep them hidden from anyone else who entered. She could already sense the other's extreme apprehension with the way her breathing sounded and sighed._

_"Ya gotta relax there, kid. There's nothing to be afraid of here. No matter how many horror stories you heard of prison. I promise you you're fine here. I brought you here so ya can get away from all the hustle and bustle…so you can take a minute to just breathe. Why don't ya do that? Take a breath and let it out. You're okay."_

_Lorna sucked in a large breath and tried not to think about where she was at. Where her life will be spent for the next few years. Tried to keep her mind clear of all thoughts but found that not to be working. She couldn't get past the fact that she was now only an inmate locked up behind bars. An inmate who's life didn't matter here._

_Nicky watched closely and became slightly frantic when the other turned a faint tinge of blue. "You have to exhale, kid," she gently reminded her, using a hand to soothingly pat against her back. "Inhale, exhale," her voice instructed._

_"I can't." The words came through a strained voice. Lorna shook her head profusely and felt a slight wave of nausea begin to overpower her. Tears flung from her eyes. She couldn't survive this—being in prison. She was weak. And other inmates were going to see that and use that their advantage, she knew._

_"You can. Come here," she softly whispered, holding her arms out for the fearful woman who quite blatantly needed them around her. Her eyes gazed gently down at her._

_Lorna very cautiously inched herself closer but stopped short of crawling into the other's arms. Instead, she looked up at her with uncertainty. She pondered if Nicky was really just trying to comfort her or secretly plotting her death. She wasn't willing to take that risk._

_"Oh, kid, don't tell me you're afraid of me now…are ya?"_

_The brunette shrugged. "How do I know ya didn't just bring me here to kill me? How can I tell you're not about to strangle me?"_

_Not giving a second though, Nicky wrapped her arms gently around the frantic woman's body and pulled her close. She shook her head and stared down at her with a warmth in her eyes. "Because I told ya why I brought ya here. To help you calm down. And, clearly, that attempt isn't working so far. You're questioning everything. Ya just gotta stop. Take a minute to breathe, would ya? You can breathe, you just have to clear your mind for a second. Everything's okay. No one is gonna kill ya."_

_"I can't stop thinking and it hurts to breathe. I feel like I'm gonna throw up."_

_Nicky tightened her hold and used her hands to rub soothing circles around the other's back. "It hurts to breathe because you're having a panic attack, kid. It's gonna be okay just close your eyes. I'll hold you until you're better, yeah? Shh, shh, don't talk just breathe in and out." Her hand continued to stroke around her back in a circular pattern. Such a sight brought back memories of her own arrival here only thirteen months ago. Although instead of a panic attack, she suffered through a drug withdrawal—something she wouldn't wish on anybody._

_Closing her eyes didn't provide much relief, Lorna thought. The sensation only grew worse. She'd never felt so sick before. It was as if her stomach had been dipped in a tub of acid—almost unbearable the nausea she experienced. And all of that just made trying to catch her breath a huge chore._

_"Feelin' any better?"_

_Lorna shook her head and shortly after regretted that choice. Once again only strengthening the nausea. "I just wanna go home," she tiredly whispered. There was no way she could make it through her three year sentence. She couldn't do it. She wasn't a criminal, she told herself—she didn't belong here._

_Inhaling deeply, Nicky kept on with her comforting touch. "I know, kid. Believe me that's what we all want here," she informed her, her grip only tightening._

_"You're not alone in here…just remember that. I'm your friend, now; I promise I'll protect you and look after you, yeah? It's not that bad here—three years will go by real fast, kid."_

* * *

The first year flew by. But the second…not so much. It started off the same as the first, nothing too out of the ordinary. She and Nicky grew very close since that first day they met—now almost inseparable. Until all hell broke loose. It happened suddenly and without much warning. A full-on prison riot, something Lorna only witnessed in movies and whatnot. Never did she imagine she'd end up being a part of one. Hell, she never thought she'd ever find herself in a prison let alone a prison riot. The entire experience made her realize just how much she needed Nicky in her life. The one person who could her calm and collected in the midst of a hectic storm.

Being away from Nicky for an entire three days was absolute agony. Only continued to prove to her how much she loved and needed that woman in her life. It showed her that Nicky was who had the key to her heart. The one person who she longed for in times of fear  _and_  cheer. The one person who had the ability to make her heart flutter in such a way that she once only thought a man could do. It was a long, over-due, revelation.

Once reunited with her favorite redhead in max, Lorna vowed to finally return her feelings to her. To finally admit both to herself and Nicky just how much she loved her. How much she craved being with her and thought about a future with her outside of prison. She knew she couldn't wait any longer, not if she didn't want Nicky to find someone else. God…she knew she couldn't handle if something like that occurred.

The perfect opportunity seemed to work its way into the nearby future as she found herself being pulled into a scheme to help create a realistic wedding ceremony for Alex and Piper one afternoon in the rec-room that was shared by both C and D blocks. What better time to share with Nicky her love for her than right after marrying their own friends, she thought. A smile spread across her face. She couldn't wait to tell her.

The ceremony went by rather fast and, without surprise, had Lorna in tears by the end. Weddings were always her favorite to watch. To see two people, in love, make vows to be together forever—there was something magical about it to her. Something special and beautiful. And that only excited her more to go forth with confessing her undying love to the redhead who was in the midst of wrapping up the ceremony. Watching her made the tears in her eyes multiply. She couldn't help by dissect every feature that made up her entire face.

Once Nicky pronounced the couple wife and wife, Lorna pulled her aside and took a moment to just stare intensely over her. To take in ever centimeter of her face and body. A soft smile slowly took form on her face. She reached gently across to place a hand over a pale cheek; the tips of her fingers caressed lightly along it.

"That was beautiful, hon," her voice softly murmured, eyes gazing affectionately ahead into the other's. She brushed a loose strand of hair from her eyes and smiled brighter. "Almost as beautiful as you."

Tilting her head slightly, Nicky peered down at the small woman with an inquisitive eyebrow arched over her eye. The smile made her insides all but melt. No one but Lorna had the power to turn her into a pile of mush, she knew. Ever since their first meeting, she realized such a truth. "What's got ya being all sweet for, huh? Got the wedding bug, yeah?" A chuckle tumbled up through her vocal chords.

Lorna sighed and the expression on her face grew somber. "I needa talk to ya, Nicky. I've been doing a lotta thinking and there's something I needa confess."

A comment like that had Nicky's organs slowly twisting up inside. The deep love that she held for the petite brunette was something that, at times, cut her like a knife. Because she knew the chances of her returning such were slim to none. Even more so now with she's being pregnant with her husband's child. The mere thought felt like a brick sitting on top of her chest. It was nearly unbearable to ponder over.

She pushed her fears and worries aside and plastered a tender smile on her own face. "What's on your mind, doll?"

"These last few days have kinda made me see the light, Nicky," the brunette slowly began, hands framed delicately around the pale cheeks of her best friend. Eyes looked piercingly ahead into the big ones that seemed to be watching her every move. "You…you are who I wanna be with. Who I love more than anything—I can't handle being without ya, hon. The riot proved that to me. I didn't give a second thought about Vinny…all I worried about was if I'd ever see ya again after you told me to surrender. And that made not ever wanna risk being without you again, Nicky. I-I love you. I wanna spend my entire life with you." The emotion in her voice not hard to miss. Tears came barreling down her cheeks; she threw her arms desperately around the taller woman's neck and buried her face in its crook.

Nicky shook her head in disbelief. But quickly recovered and wrapped her arms protectively around the brunette's waist. She pulled her as close to her body as she could physically have her. Her forehead rested delicately over Lorna's, eyes gazed intensely into hers. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to hear ya say that, doll," she whispered, her lips a mere inch from brushing against the other's. "You already know how much I love you—I'd do anything for you; I'd walk on a burning fire for ya, kid."

"I know. Which only tells me how much better you are for me than anyone else. I-I plan to get an annulment from Vinny soon. He's not the person I really love. That's you. I don't ever wanna be without you, Nicky. I can't even imagine that kinda life."

A small smile covered the redhead's face; she stroked her lips warmly over Lorna's and used one of her hands to cup tenderly around a porcelain cheek. "Good, I'm glad to hear that. I know. I just—you had to be the one to admit that to yourself and you have no fucking clue how happy I am to hear you do that. To know that you love me back. It's the most amazing feeling in the world."

Caressing fingers softly along her the flesh of her cheeks, Nicky shook her head ecstatically. Still not able to believe it. "Don't worry, you'll never have to worry about that. We'll spend the rest of our lives together, kid."

Lorna gave a teary smile. "We will? You want that too?"

Slowly getting down on one knee, Nicky nodded and peered up at the Italian with a twinkle in her eye. "I love you so much. Of course I want to spend our lives together," she murmured, gently grabbing hold of Lorna's hand and bringing it up to her lips for a warm kiss. A few tears began to gather in her eyes. Yet, her lips curved into a loving grin. "Will ya marry me, baby?"

The proposal came as a shock to Lorna but she quickly responded with a profuse nod of her head. The tears grew heavier as she pulled Nicky up to her and smashed their lips together in a passion-filled kiss. "Hell yes, hon. I wanna be with you forever and let everyone else know it."

"I love the sound of that," Nicky beamed, reclaiming her hold on the petite woman's waist. She brushed another soft kiss over her delicate lips and pulled her close. Gently laying Lorna's head onto her chest. She rested her own head overtop of hers. "I promise I'll love you and protect your for as long as we live, baby. Even beyond that. I want nothing more than to one day call you my wife. My beautiful, angelic, wife."


End file.
